TOEFL TPO -1 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Professor: Some say that modern technology is a good thing, while others say that it developed too quickly and caused many problems. What do you think?

1. Sub Scores:

Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5 Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0 Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2. Estimated Scores:

Estimated Score: 27

3. Task completeness:

The essay addresses the specific requirements of the task by discussing both opinions on modern technology's impact on society. However, there is room for improvement in elaborating on the viewpoints and providing more concrete examples to support the arguments. Additionally, the essay could benefit from a clearer structure with an introduction that explicitly states the writer's stance.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Provide more specific examples or evidence to support each viewpoint.

• Clearly state your position in the introduction.

• Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single idea or argument.

Examples:

1. "For instance, smartphones have revolutionized communication by allowing people to stay connected with friends and family across the globe, but they have also contributed to increased screen time and decreased face-to-face interactions."

2. "While some may argue that technology has led to job losses due to automation, others believe that it has created new industries and job opportunities in fields such as renewable energy and artificial intelligence."

4. Essay structure and organization:

The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both viewpoints, and a conclusion stating the writer's perspective. However, it could benefit from clearer transitions between ideas and paragraphs, as well as a more explicit statement of the writer's stance in the introduction.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Use clear transition words or phrases between ideas and paragraphs.

• Ensure each paragraph focuses on one main idea with supporting details.

• Restate your position in the conclusion for emphasis.

Examples:

1. "On one hand, modern technology has brought numerous benefits to society by improving our daily lives through innovations such as smartphones, medical advancements, and renewable energy sources."

2. "In conclusion, while it is true that modern technology has caused some problems, its overall impact on society is positive, as long as we continue to use it responsibly and address the challenges it presents."

5. Grammar

When it comes to the debate over what technology brings us, people hold quite different opinions. Some people like Claire claim that technology is overall beneficial for us human beings. I strongly advocate this statement because technologies have brought us convenience in various ways. For instance, the invention of ChatgptChatGPT(misspelling) allows us to search for information online more efficiently without useless information disturbing us and provides us opportunities to approach some advanced computer skills like programming by offering us codes due to our requests.

However, some people believe it caused many problems because it developed too quickly. I won't deny that technology can be reasons of numerous problems existing in our society, but the fact that technology developments nowadays are trying their best to fix these problems can not be ignored. For instance, technologies like hydroelectric batteries are dedicated to reducing the pollution caused by waste gases, contributing to well-beings of humans. The benefits that technologies can bring to us can overshadow those temporary problems. Therefore, in my perspective, I believe technology is overall beneficial to humans as long as we use it properly.

Display title: 6 Revised Essay

The impact of modern technology on society has been a topic of great debate, with opinions varying significantly. Some individuals, like Claire, argue that technology is generally advantageous for humanity. I wholeheartedly support this view, as technological advancements have undeniably provided us with unparalleled convenience in numerous aspects of our lives. For example, the development of Chatgpt enables more efficient online information searches without the interference of irrelevant data and offers access to advanced computer skills such as programming by providing tailored code based on user requests.

On the other hand, there are those who contend that rapid technological growth has led to a myriad of issues. While I acknowledge that technology can indeed be the root cause of certain societal problems, it is essential to recognize that ongoing technological advancements are actively addressing these concerns. Technologies such as hydroelectric batteries aim to reduce pollution caused by waste gases, thereby contributing to human well-being. The benefits offered by technology far outweigh any temporary setbacks.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that technology is predominantly beneficial to humanity when utilized appropriately and responsibly. (186 words)

When it comes to the debate over what technology brings us, people hold quite different opinions. The impact of modern technology on society has been a topic of great debate, with opinions varying significantly (revised for clarity and conciseness). Some people individuals, like Claire claim Claire, argue that technology is overall beneficial for generally advantageous for humanity (rephrased for better flow). I wholeheartedly support this view, as technological advancements have undeniably provided us human beings. I strongly advocate this statement because technologies have brought us with unparalleled convenience in various ways. numerous aspects of our lives (added emphasis on the writer's stance). For instance, the invention example, the development of Chatgpt allows us to search for enables more efficient online information online more efficiently searches without useless information disturbing us and provides us opportunities to approach some the interference of irrelevant data (clarified the benefit) and offers access to advanced computer skills like such as programming by offering us codes due to our requests. providing tailored code based on user requests (improved sentence structure).

However, some people believe On the other hand, there are those who contend that rapid technological growth has led to a myriad of issues (rephrased for better flow). While I acknowledge that technology can indeed be the root cause of certain societal problems (conceded to opposing viewpoint), it caused many problems because it developed too quickly. I won't deny that technology can be reasons of numerous problems existing in our society, but the fact that technology developments nowadays is essential to recognize that ongoing technological advancements are trying their best to fix actively addressing these problems can not be ignored. For instance, technologies like concerns (counterargument). Technologies such as hydroelectric batteries are dedicated to reducing the aim to reduce pollution caused by waste gases, thereby contributing to well-beings of humans. human well-being (specific example provided). The benefits that technologies can bring to us can overshadow those offered by technology far outweigh any temporary problems. setbacks (assertion).

Therefore, in my perspective, In conclusion, I firmly believe that technology is overall predominantly beneficial to humans as long as we use it properly.humanity when utilized appropriately and responsibly (summarized main argument and added emphasis on responsible use).

Display title: 8 Mind Map

  Essay Structure
  ---------------

1. Introduction
   - Debate on technology's impact
   - Claire's view: technology is advantageous
   - My view: support Claire's view

2. Advantages of technology
   - Convenience in various aspects of life
   - Example: Chatgpt for efficient information search and programming assistance

3. Addressing potential issues
   - Acknowledge technology can cause problems
   - Ongoing advancements addressing concerns
   - Example: Hydroelectric batteries reducing pollution and improving well-being

4. Conclusion
   - Technology is predominantly beneficial when used appropriately and responsibly

Display title: 9 Key Words