TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 1 Sample: Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they respond to the specific concerns expressed in the reading passage.

1.子项得分 任务完成度: 4 组织: 3 连贯与衔接: 3 语言使用: 3

2.预估分数

22. 3.任务完成度

总体来说，文章在任务完成度方面表现不错，成功概括了听力材料中的观点，并对阅读材料中的论点进行了反驳。但是，有些地方可以进一步改进。首先，在提到听力讲座的观点时，可以更详细地解释讲座中提到的例子和证据。此外，在对阅读材料进行反驳时，应确保完全理解其观点，并在反驳时提供足够的支持。

示例1： 原文：On the contrary, the listening lecturer opposes the proposal by presenting that the location where birds died was outside of the town. 改进：On the contrary, the listening lecturer opposes this idea by mentioning another location outside of town where birds also died in large numbers, which was too far away from the fireworks to have been affected by them.

示例2： 原文：The impacts might be caused by struck on the ground when birds fell down from the sky. 改进：The injuries could have been caused simply by the birds striking the ground as they fell from the sky, rather than flying into buildings or other objects.

4.文章结构与组织 在文章结构和组织方面，有一些需要改进的地方。首先，应确保每个段落都有一个明确的主题句，以便读者更容易理解段落的主要观点。其次，可以使用更多的过渡词和短语来提高文章的连贯性和衔接性。最后，确保在文章的结尾部分总结了论文的主要观点，并对阅读和听力材料进行了有效的对比。

示例1： 原文：Firstly, the reading passage proposes the timing of the birds' deaths connected to the fireworks at the midnight. 改进：In response to the reading passage's claim that the timing of the birds' deaths is connected to the fireworks at midnight, the listening lecturer provides a counterargument.

示例2： 原文：Therefore, they might be dead for any event, not just specific event. 改进：Thus, their presence among the dead birds could be attributed to any event causing bird deaths, not necessarily a specific event like fireworks.

5. 语法批改

Both the reading passage and listening lecture discuss the topic of the reason why birds died in a North American town. While the reading passage presents several theories to claim that fireworks cause the birds' death, the listening lecturer disagrees with these theories and thinks it is not convicingconvincing(misspelling). Firstly, the reading passage proposes the timing of the birds' deaths connected to the fireworks at the midnight. On the contrary, the listening lecturer opposes the proposal by presenting that the location where birds died was outside ofoutside(outside of (outside)) the town. And the location was far away from the place fireworks set, so fireworks have no reason to cause birds' death wherever in the town or outside ofoutside(outside of (outside)) the town, Second, according to reading passage, birds might hadhave(Non-infinitive verb after modal verbs) flown into buildings, power lines, or trees because examination of the birds' bodies could not find any evidence of diseases or being poisoned, but find some injuries by impact. In contrast, the listening lecturer refutes the statement and suggests the impacts won't be caused by buildings, power lines, or trees. The impacts might be caused by struck on the ground when birds fell down from the sky. Meanwhile, they might suffer strong wind or some objects dropped from the sky. Finally, the reading passage claims that all of theall the(all of the (all the)) dead birds were red-winged blackbirds which have poor insight to avoid flying at night, unless unusual events happened. The listening lecturer holds the opposite idea to say that it is true that all the birds are the same birds, but the reading passage overlooks the crucial opinion that red-winged blackbirds are common in the area. Therefore, they might be dead for any event, not just specifica specific(This rule identifies whether the article 'a' is missing in a sentence.) event. Hence, the fireworks did not cause birds' death.

Section title: 6.文章修订

Both the reading passage and listening lecture discuss the topic of the reason why birds died in a North American town. While the reading passage presents several theories to claim that fireworks caused the birds' death, the listening lecturer disagrees with these theories and thinks they are not convincing.

Firstly, the reading passage proposes that the timing of the birds' deaths is connected to the fireworks at midnight. On the contrary, the listening lecturer opposes this proposal by presenting that another location where birds died was outside of the town and too far away from where fireworks were set off. Thus, fireworks have no reason to cause birds' deaths either in or outside of town.

Second, according to the reading passage, birds might have flown into buildings, power lines, or trees because examination of their bodies could not find any evidence of diseases or poisoning but found injuries caused by impact. In contrast, the listening lecturer refutes this statement and suggests that impacts might not be caused by buildings, power lines, or trees but rather by striking on the ground when birds fell from the sky. Additionally, they might have experienced strong wind or sudden drops in air pressure.

Finally, while the reading passage claims that all dead birds were red-winged blackbirds which have poor night vision and avoid flying at night unless unusual events occur, the listening lecturer holds an opposing idea. He states that it is true all dead birds were red-winged blackbirds; however, this fact overlooks a crucial point: red-winged blackbirds are common in that area. Therefore, they might be affected by any event causing bird deaths rather than just a specific event like fireworks. Hence, it is unlikely that fireworks caused these bird deaths. (291 words)

Section title: 7.文章批改

Both the reading passage and listening lecture discuss the topic of the reason why birds died in a North American town. While the reading passage presents several theories to claim that fireworks cause caused the birds' death, death (changed "cause" to "caused" for correct verb tense), the listening lecturer disagrees with these theories and thinks it they are not convincing (changed "it is not convicing. convicing" to "they are not convincing" for proper subject-verb agreement and spelling).

Firstly, the reading passage proposes that the timing of the birds' deaths is connected to the fireworks at the midnight. On the contrary, the listening lecturer opposes the this proposal by presenting that the another location where birds died was outside of the town. And the location was town and too far away from the place fireworks set, so where fireworks were set off (rephrased for clarity). Thus, fireworks have no reason to cause birds' death wherever deaths either in the town or outside of the town, town.

Second, according to the reading passage, birds might had have flown into buildings, power lines, or trees because examination of the birds' their bodies could not find any evidence of diseases or being poisoned, poisoning but find some found injuries by impact. caused by impact (changed "might had" to "might have" for correct verb tense; added "caused by impact" for clarity). In contrast, the listening lecturer refutes the this statement and suggests the that impacts won't might not be caused by buildings, power lines, or trees. The impacts might be caused by struck trees but rather by striking on the ground when birds fell down from the sky. Meanwhile, sky (rephrased for clarity). Additionally, they might suffer have experienced strong wind or some objects dropped sudden drops in air pressure (added detail from the sky. original essay).

Finally, while the reading passage claims that all of the dead birds were red-winged blackbirds which have poor insight to night vision and avoid flying at night, night unless unusual events happened. The occur (clarified description), the listening lecturer holds the opposite idea to say an opposing idea. He states that it is true that all the birds are the same birds, but the reading passage dead birds were red-winged blackbirds; however, this fact overlooks the a crucial opinion that point: red-winged blackbirds are common in the area. that area (rephrased for clarity). Therefore, they might be dead for affected by any event, not event causing bird deaths rather than just a specific event. event like fireworks. Hence, the fireworks did not cause birds' death.it is unlikely that fireworks caused these bird deaths (rephrased for better flow).

8. Mind Map

• Introduction

  • Reading passage and listening lecture topic: reason for bird deaths in North American town
  • Reading passage: fireworks caused deaths
  • Listening lecture: disagrees with theories

• Point 1: Timing of bird deaths

  • Reading passage: connected to midnight fireworks
  • Listening lecture: other location too far from fireworks, no reason for cause

• Point 2: Impact injuries

  • Reading passage: birds flew into buildings, power lines, or trees
  • Listening lecture: impacts from falling to the ground, strong wind or air pressure drops

• Point 3: Red-winged blackbirds

  • Reading passage: poor night vision, avoid flying at night unless unusual events occur
  • Listening lecture: common in the area, affected by any event causing bird deaths

9. Keywords