TOEFL TPO -1 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Which do you think is better for advertising, celebrity or ordinary people?

1. Sub Scores

Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5 Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0 Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2. Estimated Scores

Estimated Score: 27

3. Task completeness

The essay addresses the specific requirements of the task quite well, providing a balanced view on whether celebrities or ordinary people are better for advertising. The writer has given examples to support their viewpoint, which is helpful in understanding their perspective. However, there could be more elaboration on the reasons behind choosing one over the other in different situations.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Provide more specific reasons why ordinary people can be effective in advertising for established brands.

• Discuss potential drawbacks of using celebrities in advertising.

Example 1: "Ordinary people can be effective in advertising for established brands because they are more relatable to the target audience, making it easier for consumers to envision themselves using the product."

Example 2: "Using celebrities in advertising may sometimes backfire if the celebrity's image is tarnished due to scandals or controversies, which could negatively impact the brand's reputation."

4. Essay structure and organization

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both sides of the argument, and a conclusion. The organization is mostly logical, with each paragraph focusing on a specific point and supporting details. However, transitions between ideas and paragraphs could be improved to make the essay flow more smoothly.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Improve transitions between ideas by using phrases like "on the other hand," "in contrast," or "however."

• Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea and provides sufficient supporting details.

Example 1: "In contrast to using celebrities for newly established brands, well-known companies might find it more beneficial to use ordinary people in their advertisements."

Example 2: "However, despite the potential benefits of using celebrities in advertising campaigns, there are also drawbacks that companies should consider before making their decision."

5. Grammar

It is universally known that an effective and targeted advertisement can promote sales of products and services. However, when it comes to the issue concerning effective methods to advertise to reach more targeted audiences with cost-effectiveness, corporations are often torn to the choice between celebrities and ordinary people speaking for their goods. Well, according to my understanding, that really depends.

Firstly, if a brand of the company has already been established and become well-known, there is no need to hire a celebrity, like a famous actor or sports figure, to speak for your products and services because a large amount of money might be spent on hiring these people. An ordinary person might be more justifiable for not only making the brandsbrand's(This rule identifies whether there is a missing apostrophe before an 's'.) continuously known to customers but, but(Detects missing comma before "but") also saving tons of money that could be spent on other aspects. For example, the well-known liquor brand Wu LiangyeLinage(misspelling) in China has never been seen to recruit influencers to promote their products. A less well-known profile is often to be seen on the screen to speak with the brand, saving lots of money.

When it comes to a newly established brand, a celebrity might be more effective in promoting sales. Because with millions of followers on social media and their popularity, celebrities can help fresh brands spread out and reach more targeted customers quickly. Although large amounts of investments might be poured into employing influencers to speak for their products and services, the money will be worth spending. For example, a newly established mineral water brand YiyunYuyun(misspelling) in China hired the famous sports star Li Na to speak for its brand and, and(comma between independent clauses) you can never miss the spots everywhere, stadiums, gyms, bus stations, and subways where large posters of profiles of Li Na with a bottle of Yi yunrun(misspelling) mineral water in her hand. Even though this newly established water brand is more expensive than the other comparable mineral water brands, it sells well and makes huge profits. So, celebrity advertisements not only make Yi YunRun(misspelling) famous but also make more money than it invested in the ad. So, as for advertisements, celebrities, or ordinary people, different situations should be analyzed from various angles.

Display title: 6 Revised Essay

In the realm of advertising, companies constantly grapple with the decision of whether to employ celebrities or ordinary people as endorsers for their products and services. This choice often hinges on factors such as brand recognition, target audience, and cost-effectiveness. In my opinion, the most suitable approach depends on the specific circumstances surrounding the brand.

For well-established brands with widespread recognition, enlisting ordinary people as endorsers may be more beneficial. This is because employing a celebrity could entail significant expenses that might not yield proportional returns in terms of increased sales or brand awareness. By opting for ordinary individuals, companies can maintain their brand's visibility while conserving resources that could be allocated to other aspects of their business. For instance, Wu Liangye, a renowned liquor brand in China, has consistently opted for lesser-known personalities in its advertisements rather than high-profile celebrities. This strategy has allowed them to save considerable amounts of money while maintaining their market presence.

Conversely, newly established brands may find it advantageous to leverage the popularity and reach of celebrities in their advertising campaigns. With millions of followers on social media platforms and widespread public recognition, celebrities can effectively raise awareness about emerging brands and help them penetrate new markets rapidly. Although this approach may require substantial investments upfront, it can yield significant returns if executed correctly. A prime example is Yiyun, a mineral water brand in China that enlisted renowned sports star Li Na as its endorser. Despite being priced higher than its competitors, Yiyun has managed to achieve impressive sales figures and generate substantial profits due in large part to Li Na's endorsement.

Ultimately, when deciding between celebrity or ordinary people endorsements for advertising campaigns, companies must carefully assess their unique situations and weigh the potential benefits against the costs involved. By doing so, they can make informed decisions that will contribute positively to their overall marketing strategies and ensure optimal outcomes for their businesses. (325 words)

It is universally known that an effective and targeted advertisement can promote sales of products and services. However, when it comes to the issue concerning effective methods to advertise to reach more targeted audiences In the realm of advertising, companies constantly grapple with cost-effectiveness, corporations are often torn to the choice between the decision of whether to employ celebrities and or ordinary people speaking for their goods. Well, according to as endorsers for their products and services (clarified the subject matter). This choice often hinges on factors such as brand recognition, target audience, and cost-effectiveness. In my understanding, that really depends. opinion, the most suitable approach depends on the specific circumstances surrounding the brand (clarified the stance).

Firstly, if a brand of the company has already been established and become well-known, there is no need to hire a celebrity, like a famous actor or sports figure, to speak for your products and services because a large amount of money might be spent on hiring these people. An For well-established brands with widespread recognition, enlisting ordinary person might people as endorsers may be more justifiable for beneficial (simplified sentence structure). This is because employing a celebrity could entail significant expenses that might not only making the brands continuously known to customers but also saving tons of money yield proportional returns in terms of increased sales or brand awareness. By opting for ordinary individuals, companies can maintain their brand's visibility while conserving resources that could be spent on allocated to other aspects. aspects of their business (clarified reasoning). For example, the well-known instance, Wu Liangye, a renowned liquor brand Wu Liangye in China in China, has never been seen to recruit influencers to promote their products. A less well-known profile is often to be seen on the screen to speak with the brand, saving lots of money. consistently opted for lesser-known personalities in its advertisements rather than high-profile celebrities. This strategy has allowed them to save considerable amounts of money while maintaining their market presence (provided an example).

When it comes to a Conversely, newly established brand, a celebrity might be more effective in promoting sales. Because with brands may find it advantageous to leverage the popularity and reach of celebrities in their advertising campaigns (simplified sentence structure). With millions of followers on social media and their popularity, platforms and widespread public recognition, celebrities can effectively raise awareness about emerging brands and help fresh brands spread out and reach more targeted customers quickly. them penetrate new markets rapidly (clarified reasoning). Although large amounts of this approach may require substantial investments might be poured into employing influencers to speak for their products and services, the money will be worth spending. For example, upfront, it can yield significant returns if executed correctly. A prime example is Yiyun, a newly established mineral water brand Yiyun in China hired the famous that enlisted renowned sports star Li Na to speak for as its brand and you endorser. Despite being priced higher than its competitors, Yiyun has managed to achieve impressive sales figures and generate substantial profits due in large part to Li Na's endorsement (provided an example).

Ultimately, when deciding between celebrity or ordinary people endorsements for advertising campaigns, companies must carefully assess their unique situations and weigh the potential benefits against the costs involved (summarized the main point). By doing so, they can never miss the spots everywhere, stadiums, gyms, bus stations, and subways where large posters of profiles of Li Na make informed decisions that will contribute positively to their overall marketing strategies and ensure optimal outcomes for their businesses (concluded with a bottle of Yi yun mineral water in her hand. Even though this newly established water brand is more expensive than the other comparable mineral water brands, it sells well and makes huge profits. So, celebrity advertisements not only make Yi Yun famous but also make more money than it invested in the ad. ¶ So, as for advertisements, celebrities, or ordinary people, different situations should be analyzed from various angles.recommendation).

Display title: 8 Mind Map

- Advertising
  - Celebrity Endorsements
    - Pros
      - Popularity and reach
      - Rapid brand awareness
      - Penetration of new markets
    - Cons
      - High costs
      - May not yield proportional returns
  - Ordinary People Endorsements
    - Pros
      - Cost-effective
      - Maintain brand visibility 
      - Resource conservation 
    - Cons
      - Limited reach and recognition 

- Examples 
  - Wu Liangye (ordinary people)
  - Yiyun (celebrity)

- Decision Factors 
  - Brand recognition 
  - Target audience 
  - Cost-effectiveness 

Display title: 9 Key Words