TOEFL TPO -1 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: One proposal is to improve and expand public transportation. The other is to provide financial support to companies that make electric cars and to consumers who buy them. Which proposal do you think is better? Why?

1. Sub Scores

• Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5

• Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0

• Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2. Estimated Scores

Estimated Score: 27

3. Task completeness

The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing the benefits of financially supporting electric cars over improving public transportation. However, it could benefit from more specific examples or details to support the argument. Additionally, the essay could also address potential counterarguments or drawbacks of the chosen proposal.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Provide specific examples of how financial support for electric cars can lead to a reduction in carbon dioxide emissions.

• Address potential counterarguments or drawbacks of financially supporting electric cars.

Examples in English:

1. "For instance, government subsidies for electric vehicles could encourage more consumers to purchase them, leading to a significant decrease in carbon dioxide emissions."
2. "However, one potential drawback of this approach is that it may not be as effective in densely populated urban areas where public transportation is more prevalent."

4. Essay structure and organization

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. The paragraphs focus on specific points with supporting details. However, transitions between ideas and paragraphs could be improved for better coherence.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Use clear transitions between ideas and paragraphs.

• Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that connects to the overall argument.

Examples in English:

1. "Firstly, replacing petrol-powered cars with electric cars that have all required functions will directly and indelibly reduce carbon dioxide emissions from this aspect."
2. "Moreover, providing financial support to electric energy companies is also beneficial for the development of electric powered public transportation."

5. 语法批改

Financially supporting using electric cars is better than developing the existing public transportation, as it is more effective both now and future. As tofor public transportation, no matter how big and variousvaried it becomes, it still has to follow fixed schedules and maps, by which it cannot satisfy all travel preferences, such as moving faster for emergencies and choosechoosing a new route to accomplish multiple tasks in one outing. With this,this in mind, driving petrol-poweredgas-powered cars is still attractive. Meanwhile, nowadays many public buses are still petrol-powered,gas-powered, so they also createscreate carbon dioxide. Financially supporting usingthe use of electric cars, on the contrary, could make this expenditure more worthwhile. Firstly, replacing petrol-poweredgas-powered cars with electric cars that have all required functions will directly and indelibly reduce carbon dioxide emissions from this aspect. Secondly, providing financial support to electric energy companies is also beneficial for the development of electric poweredelectric-powered public transportation. As a result, the issue of carbon dioxide emissions related to transportation will gradually become history.

Display title: 6 Revised Essay

Supporting the adoption of electric cars is a more effective approach than expanding public transportation in addressing carbon dioxide emissions, both in the present and future. While public transportation systems can be extensive and diverse, they are constrained by fixed schedules and routes, limiting their ability to cater to individual preferences such as faster travel during emergencies or customized routes for multitasking. Consequently, gasoline-powered cars remain an attractive option for many. Moreover, numerous public buses still rely on petrol, contributing to carbon dioxide emissions.

In contrast, financial support for electric cars presents a more promising solution. First and foremost, replacing gasoline-powered vehicles with electric alternatives that possess all necessary functions would directly and permanently reduce carbon dioxide emissions from transportation. Furthermore, providing financial incentives to electric vehicle manufacturers could also promote the development of electric-powered public transportation systems. Consequently, the issue of carbon dioxide emissions related to transportation would gradually become obsolete. (157 words)

Financially supporting using Supporting the adoption of electric cars (clarified the subject) is better than developing the existing public transportation, as it is a more effective approach than expanding public transportation (rephrased for clarity) in addressing carbon dioxide emissions, both now in the present and future. As to public transportation, no matter how big and various it becomes, it still has to follow While public transportation systems can be extensive and diverse, they are constrained by fixed schedules and maps, by which it cannot satisfy all travel preferences, routes (rephrased for clarity), limiting their ability to cater to individual preferences such as moving faster for travel during emergencies and choose or customized routes for multitasking (added examples for clarity). Consequently, gasoline-powered cars remain an attractive option for many. Moreover, numerous public buses still rely on petrol, contributing to carbon dioxide emissions.

In contrast, financial support for electric cars presents a new route to accomplish multiple tasks in one outing. With this, driving petrol-powered cars is still attractive. Meanwhile, nowadays many public buses are still petrol-powered, so they also creates carbon dioxide. Financially supporting using electric cars, on the contrary, could make this expenditure more worthwhile. Firstly, promising solution (rephrased for emphasis). First and foremost, replacing petrol-powered cars gasoline-powered vehicles with electric cars alternatives that have possess all required necessary functions will would directly and indelibly permanently reduce carbon dioxide emissions from this aspect. Secondly, transportation (rephrased for clarity). Furthermore, providing financial support to electric energy companies is incentives to electric vehicle manufacturers could also beneficial for promote the development of electric powered public transportation. As a result, electric-powered public transportation systems (added beneficiaries of financial incentives). Consequently, the issue of carbon dioxide emissions related to transportation will would gradually become history.obsolete (rephrased for a stronger conclusion).

8 Mind Map

1. Introduction

   • Carbon dioxide emissions
   • Electric cars vs public transportation

2. Public transportation limitations

   • Fixed schedules and routes
   • Individual preferences not met
   • Gasoline-powered cars still attractive

3. Public transportation emissions

   • Many buses still use petrol
   • Contributes to carbon dioxide emissions

4. Electric cars as a solution

   • Replace gasoline-powered vehicles
   • Directly reduce carbon dioxide emissions

5. Financial support for electric cars

   • Incentives for manufacturers
   • Promote development of electric public transportation systems

6. Obsolete carbon dioxide emissions issue

   • Gradual reduction in transportation-related emissions

7. Conclusion

   • Electric cars more effective than public transportation expansion

9 Key Words

6 Revised Essay

Supporting the adoption of electric cars is a more effective approach than expanding public transportation in addressing carbon dioxide emissions, both in the present and future. While public transportation systems can be extensive and diverse, they are constrained by fixed schedules and routes, limiting their ability to cater to individual preferences such as faster travel during emergencies or customized routes for multitasking. Consequently, gasoline-powered cars remain an attractive option for many. Moreover, numerous public buses still rely on petrol, contributing to carbon dioxide emissions.

In contrast, financial support for electric cars presents a more promising solution. First and foremost, replacing gasoline-powered vehicles with electric alternatives that possess all necessary functions would directly and permanently reduce carbon dioxide emissions from transportation. Furthermore, providing financial incentives to electric vehicle manufacturers could also promote the development of electric-powered public transportation systems. Consequently, the issue of carbon dioxide emissions related to transportation would gradually become obsolete.