TOEFL TPO -1 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Your protessor is teacning a sociology class.write a post responding to the professor's question.
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Professor
This week,we discussed the importance of role models and opinion makers in society.One idea we discussed was the widespread impact of "influencers."Influencers are people who are very active posting on social media and who have many followers.Influencers'posts and opinions can influence their followers'choices on everything from fashion to politics.In your opinion,do social media influencers generally have a positive or negative effect on their followers?Why do you think so?
Kelly
I think the influencers'effect is generally positive.People can learn about the latest trends and topics in a very quick and efficient way by following influencers.In the past, people had to spend time looking through magazines or visiting boutiques to even know what was trending.
Paul
I think influencers generally have a negative effect because they have far too much influence.I can think of one influencer who only has to mention a particular kind of sports shoe,and the next day they'll be sold out.The followers aren't really thinking for themselves:they're just blindly following the influencers'choices.
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From my perspective, I think the influencers' effect is more positive than negative. Because people prefer to imitate the actions of the people they like. Like Kelly says it is a very easy way to receive benefit information on the internet. I think we do not need to worry too much about the negative influence of the influencers. First, people have their own opinions, they will not accept all the opinions of the influencers' opinions or something. Second, there are lots of different types of influencers on the internet, so people can compare different influencers' posts and then decide which one can trust. In conclusion, I think the influencers' posts have a positive effect and provide a convenient way to get the latest news or knowledge.
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1. 子项得分
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Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5
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Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0
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Language Use and Grammar: 4.0
2. 预估分数
- 26
3. 任务完成度
这篇文章在任务完成度方面表现不错,你明确表达了自己的观点,并且给出了一定的理由。但是,你可以尝试提供更多具体的例子来支持你的观点,以增强说服力。此外,在讨论中引用其他同学的观点时,可以更深入地分析和评价他们的看法。
Example 1: Instead of just mentioning that people can compare different influencers' posts, you could provide a specific example of how this comparison might lead to a more informed decision.
Example 2: When discussing the positive effects of influencers, you could explore the educational aspect by mentioning how some influencers share valuable knowledge and skills with their followers.
4. 文章结构与组织
文章结构方面整体不错,有清晰的引言、主体和结论。然而,在主体部分中,你可以考虑使用更明确的段落划分来突出每个观点及其支持细节。同时,在段落之间加入过渡句子以提高连贯性。
Example 1: To emphasize your point about people having their own opinions, you could start a new paragraph with a topic sentence like "Firstly, it is important to note that individuals have their own critical thinking abilities and will not blindly follow influencers."
Example 2: To create a smooth transition between the discussion of positive and negative effects, you could use a sentence like "While there are concerns about the negative impact of influencers, it is essential to consider the benefits they bring to their followers."
5. 语法批改
From my perspective, I think the influencers' effect is more positive than negative. Because people prefer to imitate the actions of the people they like. LikeAs Kelly sayssays, it is a very easy way to receive benefitbeneficial information on the internet. I think we do not need to worry too much about the negative influence of the influencers. First, people have their own opinions,opinions; they will not accept all the opinions of the influencers' opinions or something. Second, there are lots of different types of influencers on the internet, so people can compare different influencers' posts and then decide which one canto trust. In conclusion, I think the influencers' posts have a positive effect and provide a convenient way to get the latest news or knowledge.
Section Title: 6 文章修订
In my opinion, the impact of social media influencers is predominantly positive rather than negative. People tend to emulate those they admire, and as Kelly mentioned, following influencers offers an efficient way to stay informed about current trends and topics. Concerns regarding the potential negative influence of these opinion-makers should not be overstated. Firstly, individuals possess their own beliefs and perspectives; they are unlikely to blindly accept every viewpoint presented by an influencer. Secondly, the internet hosts a diverse array of influencers, allowing followers to compare different posts and determine which sources are trustworthy. Ultimately, influencers' contributions positively affect their audience by providing a convenient means of accessing up-to-date information and knowledge. (116 words)
From In my perspective, I think the influencers' effect opinion, the impact of social media influencers is more predominantly positive (1) rather than negative. Because people People tend to emulate those they admire (2), and as Kelly mentioned, following influencers offers an efficient way to stay informed about current trends and topics (3). Concerns regarding the potential negative influence of these opinion-makers should not be overstated (4). Firstly, individuals possess their own beliefs and perspectives; they are unlikely to blindly accept every viewpoint presented by an influencer (5). Secondly, the internet hosts a diverse array of influencers, allowing followers to compare different posts and determine which sources are trustworthy (6). Ultimately, influencers' contributions positively affect their audience by providing a convenient means of accessing up-to-date information and knowledge (7).
(1) Changed "effect" to "impact" for a more appropriate word choice.
(2) Reworded "people prefer to imitate the actions of the people they like. Like Kelly says it is a very easy way to receive benefit information on the internet. I like" for clarity and conciseness.
(3) Paraphrased Kelly's quote for better integration into the sentence.
(4) Reworded "I think we do not need to worry too much about the negative influence of the influencers. First, people have their own opinions, they will not accept all the opinions of the influencers' opinions or something. Second, there are lots of different types of influencers on the internet, so influencers" for clarity and a more formal tone.
(5) Combined two sentences into one for better flow and coherence.
(6) Reworded "so people can compare different influencers' posts and then decide which one can trust. In conclusion, I think the influencers' posts have a positive effect and provide a convenient way to get the latest news or knowledge.trust" for clarity and conciseness.
(7) Combined two sentences into one for better flow and coherence.
8 思维导图
1. 主题: 社交媒体影响者的影响
- 正面影响
- 效率
- 信息获取
- 负面影响
- 盲目跟从
- 不可靠来源
2. 个人观点: 正面影响大于负面影响
3. 关键论点:
- 人们有自己的信仰和观点,不会盲目接受意见
- 网络上有多种不同的意见领袖,方便比较和判断可靠性
4. 结论: 影响者为观众提供了方便的信息获取途径,对他们产生积极的影响。
9 关键词
| Word | Phonetic Symbol | Part of Speech | English Definition | Simplified Chinese Translation | Sample Sentence |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| emulate | /ˈɛm.jə.leɪt/ | verb | to imitate someone or something, especially in order to try to be as good as them | 模仿,效仿 | People tend to emulate those they admire. |
| influencer | /ˈɪn.flu.ən.sər/ | noun | a person who has the power to affect the opinions or actions of others because of their authority, knowledge, position, or relationship with their audience | 影响者,意见领袖 | Social media influencers have a significant impact on their followers. |
| diverse | /daɪˈvɜrs/ | adjective | including many different types of people or things | 多样的,不同的 | The internet hosts a diverse array of influencers. |
| perspective | /pərˈspek.tɪv/ | noun | a particular way of considering something; point of view | 观点,看法 | Individuals possess their own beliefs and perspectives. |
| trustworthy | /ˈtrʌs.twɜr.ði/ | adjective | able to be relied on as honest or truthful; dependable, reliable, responsible, and unfailing | 值得信赖的,可靠的 | Followers can determine which sources are trustworthy. |
| contribution | /ˌkɒn.trɪˈbjuː.ʃən/ | noun | the part played by a person or thing in bringing about a result or helping something to advance | /贡献,促进作用/ Influencers' contributions positively affect their audience by providing up-to-date information and knowledge. | |
| predominantly | /prɪˈdɒm.ɪ.nənt.li/ | adverb | /mainly; for the most part;/主要地,大部分地/ The impact of social media influencers is predominantly positive rather than negative. | ||
| convenient | /kənˈviː.niənt/ | /adjective;/suited to personal comfort or to easy performance; situated within easy reach;/方便的,便利的/ Influencers provide a convenient means of accessing information for their audience. | |||
| up-to-date | /ʌp.tə.deɪt/ | /adjective;/modern, recent, or containing the latest information;/最新的,现代的/ Influencers offer an efficient way to stay informed about up-to-date trends and topics. | |||
| overstate | /ˌəʊ.vərˈsteɪt/ | /verb;/to talk about something in a way that makes it seem more important, serious, etc. than it really is;/夸大,言过其实/ Concerns regarding the potential negative influence of influencers should not be overstated. |
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