TOEFL TPO -1 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: In your opinion, which is the better strategy for making purchases decisions, relying on advice from friends and family, or depending on information online resources?why?

1. Sub Scores:

Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.0 Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 3.5 Language Use and Grammar: 3.5

2. Estimated Scores:

Estimated Score: 23

3. Task completeness:

The essay addresses the task's requirements by discussing the advantages of using online resources for making purchase decisions. However, it could be improved by providing more specific examples and a more balanced comparison between the two strategies mentioned in the prompt (advice from friends and family vs. online resources). Additionally, elaborating on why the internet is considered "almighty" would strengthen the argument.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Include specific examples of online resources that are helpful for making purchase decisions.

• Compare both strategies in a more balanced manner, discussing potential drawbacks of relying solely on online information.

Example 1: "While friends and family can provide valuable insights based on their personal experiences, online resources such as Consumer Reports or expert reviews offer a broader range of opinions from professionals who have tested numerous products in a given category."

Example 2: "However, it is essential to consider that not all information found online is reliable or unbiased. Consumers should be cautious when relying solely on online resources and verify the credibility of sources before making a decision."

4. Essay structure and organization:

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. However, it could benefit from clearer transitions between ideas and paragraphs to improve its organization.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Use transitional phrases to connect ideas within paragraphs.

• Ensure each paragraph focuses on one main point with supporting details.

Example 1: "In addition to providing comprehensive information about various products, online resources also offer time-saving benefits compared to seeking advice from friends and family."

Example 2: "On the other hand, relying solely on online information may have its drawbacks as well. For instance, some websites might present biased reviews or promote specific products for financial gain, which could mislead consumers."

5. Grammar

I share Claire's perspective. Although purchasing things recommended by family and friends can be simple and trust worthytrustworthy(news worthy (newsworthy)), information from internet would give us more subjective and time-saving advice.

First, buying things follow the information gathered from the internet will give us a whole picture of this industry, thus help us make makemake(Word repetition (e.g. 'will will')) the best choices. For example, if iI(i vs. I) want to buy a foundation for makeup. I would search on the internet for it features to find out which suits me the most, I should care for its lasting time, price, function, will it be thick enough to cover all of my flaws, and so on. So by searching on the internet, iI(i vs. I) will find the best product that will suit me. In contrast, family and friends may recommend me based on their experiences. However, it only gives one perspective due to the lack of information.

So, I hold on to the view that we should buy things based on our investigation on the internet information due to almighty internet.

Display title: 6 Revised Essay

In my opinion, utilizing online resources is a more effective strategy for making purchase decisions compared to relying solely on advice from friends and family. This is because the internet provides a broader range of information, allowing for more informed choices and efficient decision-making.

Firstly, conducting research online offers a comprehensive understanding of the market and helps identify the most suitable products. For instance, if I were to purchase a foundation for makeup, I would search the internet for its features to determine which one best meets my needs. Factors such as lasting time, price, function, and coverage are essential considerations. By searching online, I can find the ideal product tailored to my preferences. In contrast, recommendations from family and friends are often based on their personal experiences and may only provide a limited perspective due to insufficient information.

Furthermore, online resources enable us to access expert opinions and compare various products efficiently. Numerous consumer magazines and websites compile extensive data that allows us to weigh the advantages of one product against another easily. While advice from friends and family can be trustworthy, it may not always be up-to-date or encompass all available options.

In conclusion, although seeking recommendations from friends and family has its merits, relying on online resources ultimately proves more beneficial in making well-informed purchase decisions due to its comprehensive nature and efficiency. (231 words)

In my opinion, utilizing online resources (This phrase is revised to emphasize the focus on online resources) is a more effective strategy for making purchase decisions compared to relying solely on advice from friends and family (Revised for clarity and to establish a comparison between the two sources of information). This is because the internet provides a broader range of information, allowing for more informed choices and efficient decision-making (Revised to explain the advantages of using online resources).

Firstly, conducting research online (Revised to emphasize the action of researching) offers a comprehensive understanding of the market and helps identify the most suitable products. For instance, if I share Claire's perspective. Although purchasing things recommended by family and friends can be simple and trust worthy, information from internet would give us more subjective and time-saving advice. ¶ First, buying things follow the information gathered from the internet will give us a whole picture of this industry, thus help us make make the best choices. For example, if i want to buy were to purchase a foundation for makeup. makeup, I would search on the internet for it its features to find out determine which suits me the most, I should care for its one best meets my needs (Revised for clarity and natural tone). Factors such as lasting time, price, function, will it be thick enough to cover all of and coverage are essential considerations. By searching online, I can find the ideal product tailored to my flaws, and so on. So by searching on the internet, i will find the best product that will suit me. preferences (Revised for natural tone). In contrast, recommendations from family and friends may recommend me are often based on their experiences. However, it personal experiences and may only gives one provide a limited perspective due to the lack of information. insufficient information (Revised to explain limitations of recommendations from friends and family).

So, I hold Furthermore, online resources enable us to access expert opinions and compare various products efficiently (Revised for clarity). Numerous consumer magazines and websites compile extensive data that allows us to weigh the advantages of one product against another easily (Revised for natural tone). While advice from friends and family can be trustworthy, it may not always be up-to-date or encompass all available options (Revised to acknowledge trustworthiness but highlight potential limitations).

In conclusion, although seeking recommendations from friends and family has its merits (Acknowledging benefits), relying on to the view that we should buy things based on our investigation on the internet information online resources ultimately proves more beneficial in making well-informed purchase decisions due to almighty internet.its comprehensive nature and efficiency (Summarizing main argument).

Display title: 8 Mind Map

1. Introduction
   - Online resources vs. advice from friends and family
   - More informed choices and efficient decision-making

2. Comprehensive understanding of the market
   - Identifying suitable products
   - Example: purchasing a foundation for makeup
   - Factors to consider: lasting time, price, function, coverage

3. Limited perspective from personal experiences
   - Insufficient information from friends and family recommendations

4. Access to expert opinions and product comparisons
   - Consumer magazines and websites with extensive data

5. Trustworthiness of advice from friends and family
   - May not always be up-to-date or encompass all options

6. Conclusion 
   - Online resources more beneficial for well-informed purchase decisions 

Display title: 9 Key Words