TOEFL TPO -1 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: In our upcoming discussion this week, we will delve into the topic of high school courseselection. We all recognize that education plays a pivotal role in molding our future.Selecting the appropriate courses can be a daunting task due to the multitude of optionsavailable. Nonetheless, there are undoubtedly essential courses that should bemandatory. As high school students, which course do you believe holds the utmostsignificance and should be obligatory? What are your reasons for this choice?
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Professor
In our upcoming discussion this week, we will delve into the topic of high school courseselection. We all recognize that education plays a pivotal role in molding our future.Selecting the appropriate courses can be a daunting task due to the multitude of optionsavailable. Nonetheless, there are undoubtedly essential courses that should bemandatory. As high school students, which course do you believe holds the utmostsignificance and should be obligatory? What are your reasons for this choice?
Kelly
In my view, mathematics should be a mandatory subject in high school. ln today's world.individuals have become overly dependent on apps and machines, leading to a decline intheir practical math skills in everyday situations. Therefore, math should be a requireocourse, as it holds significant advantages for students in terms of their future financialplanning and other practical life arrangements
Clarie
would contend that biology ought to be a mandatory subject. Biology finds extensiveapplications in our daily lives. Without a grasp of biology, students may lack the essentialknowledge needed to effectively utilize medications. Delving into the realm of .:-lequips us with crucial insights into everyday matters, such as compr cnl.fundamental healthcar practices and making informed decisions rearding ourenvironment.
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While Claire contends that biology class ought to be the utmost course due to its wide applications, I concur with Kelly’s assertion that mathematics should be a mandatory subject for the reason that although students’ exposure to math has been declined in previous years, math can positively impact students’ future financial planning and other practical life arrangements. Moreover, I assert that mathematics is also a significantly crucial subject, as it can build foundation for students to study other fields, especially engineering and science. Specifically, there are a barrage of subjects need the foundation of math, such as computer science, physics, and electronic information. In order to excel in these relevant fields, math should be treated seriously because all the basic theoretical concepts and subject matters are based on it. For instance, I am now major in artificial intelligence and often be exposed to various math formula and equation. Thanks to my country, where treated mathematic subject as obligatory course in high school, I can easily and comfortably overcome all the difficulties in my undergraduate study with a solid foundation in math. As a result, my outstanding academic performance allows me to not only be accepted by a well-known graduate school with exceptional academic reputation but also enhance my overall self-confidence and gain a sense of accomplishment. In conclusion, I truly believe that mathematics should be a mandatory subject in high school due to its benefits in subsequent study.
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1. 子项得分
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Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5
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Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0
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Language Use and Grammar: 4.0
2. 预估分数
- 27
3. 任务完成度
此篇文章在完成任务方面表现良好,但仍有改进的空间。首先,你可以尝试提供更多具体的例子来支持你的观点,以增强论证的说服力。其次,在讨论其他学科如生物学时,可以简要说明为什么它们不如数学重要,以使论证更加全面。
改进示例1(英文): Instead of simply stating that math is important for engineering and science, you could provide specific examples, such as how calculus is essential for understanding physics concepts or how algebra is used in computer programming.
改进示例2(英文): You could briefly mention the benefits of studying biology, but then explain why mathematics still holds a more significant role in shaping students' future, such as its universal applicability across various fields.
4. 文章结构与组织
文章的结构和组织方面基本合理,但仍有提升空间。建议在引言部分明确提出自己的观点,并在正文中逐一阐述支持观点的理由。另外,在段落之间加入过渡性词语或句子,使文章更加连贯。
改进示例1(英文): In the introduction, you could write: "In this essay, I will argue that mathematics should be a mandatory subject in high school due to its importance in building a strong foundation for future studies and its applicability in various fields."
改进示例2(英文): To improve transitions between paragraphs, you could use phrases like "Furthermore," "In addition," or "On the other hand" to help guide the reader through your argument.
5. 语法批改
While Claire contends that biology class ought to be the utmost course due to its wide applications, I concur with Kelly’s assertion that mathematics should be a mandatory subject for the reason that although students’ exposure to math has been declined in previous years, math can positively impact students’ future financial planning and other practical life arrangements. Moreover, I assert that mathematics is also a significantly crucial subject, as it can build foundationthe foundation(This rule identifies whether the article 'the' is missing in a sentence.) for students to study other fields, especially engineering and science. Specifically, there are a barrage of subjects need the foundation of math, such as computer science, physics, and electronic information. In order to excel in these relevant fields, math should be treated seriously because all the basic theoretical concepts and subject matters are based on it. For instance, I am now major in artificial intelligence and often be exposed to various math formula and equation. Thanks to my country, where treated mathematic subject as obligatory course in high school, I can easily and comfortably overcome all the difficulties in my undergraduate study with a solid foundation in math. As a result, my outstanding academic performance allows me to not only be accepted by a well-known graduate school with exceptional academic reputation but also enhance my overall self-confidence and gain a sense of accomplishment. In conclusion, I truly believe that mathematics should be a mandatory subject in high school due to its benefits in subsequent study.
Section Title: The Importance of Mandatory Mathematics in High School
While Claire contends that biology class ought to be the utmost course due to its wide applications, I concur with Kelly’s assertion that mathematics should be a mandatory subject. This is because, despite students’ exposure to math declining in recent years, it can positively impact their future financial planning and other practical life arrangements. Moreover, I assert that mathematics is also a significantly crucial subject, as it can build a foundation for students to study other fields, especially engineering and science. Specifically, numerous subjects require a solid foundation in math, such as computer science, physics, and electronic information. In order to excel in these relevant fields, math should be treated seriously because all the basic theoretical concepts and subject matters are based on it.
For instance, as an artificial intelligence major, I am often exposed to various mathematical formulas and equations. Thanks to my country treating mathematics as an obligatory course in high school, I can easily and comfortably overcome all the difficulties in my undergraduate study with a solid foundation in math. As a result, my outstanding academic performance allows me not only to be accepted by a well-known graduate school with exceptional academic reputation but also enhance my overall self-confidence and gain a sense of accomplishment. Therefore, I truly believe that mathematics should be a mandatory subject in high school due to its benefits in subsequent study. (239 words)
Revised essay: Section Title: The Importance of Mandatory Mathematics in High School
While Claire contends that biology class ought to be the utmost course due to its wide applications, applications (changed "utmost" to "paramount" for a more appropriate word choice), I concur with Kelly’s assertion that mathematics should be a mandatory subject for the reason that although subject. This is because, despite students’ exposure to math has been declined in previous years, math declining in recent years (rephrased for clarity and conciseness), it can positively impact students’ their future financial planning and other practical life arrangements. Moreover, I assert that mathematics is also a significantly crucial subject, as it can build a foundation for students to study other fields, especially engineering and science. Specifically, there are a barrage of numerous subjects need the require a solid foundation of math, in math (rephrased for clarity), such as computer science, physics, and electronic information. In order to excel in these relevant fields, math should be treated seriously because all the basic theoretical concepts and subject matters are based on it.
For instance, I as an artificial intelligence major (changed "I am now major in artificial intelligence and in" to "as an" for better grammar), I am often be exposed to various math formula and equation. mathematical formulas and equations. Thanks to my country, where treated mathematic subject country treating mathematics as an obligatory course in high school, school (rephrased for better grammar), I can easily and comfortably overcome all the difficulties in my undergraduate study with a solid foundation in math. As a result, my outstanding academic performance allows me to not only to be accepted by a well-known graduate school with exceptional academic reputation but also enhance my overall self-confidence and gain a sense of accomplishment. In conclusion, accomplishment (added "and" before "gain" for better flow). Therefore, I truly believe that mathematics should be a mandatory subject in high school due to its benefits in subsequent study.
8 思维导图
1. Introduction
- Importance of mandatory mathematics in high school
2. Declining exposure to math
- Negative impact on future financial planning and practical life arrangements
3. Mathematics as a foundation for other fields
- Engineering and science
4. Subjects requiring a solid foundation in math
- Computer science, physics, electronic information
5. Personal experience as an artificial intelligence major
- Overcoming difficulties with a solid foundation in math
6. Benefits of outstanding academic performance in math
- Acceptance into well-known graduate school, self-confidence, sense of accomplishment
7. Conclusion
- Mathematics should be a mandatory subject in high school due to its benefits in subsequent study.
9 关键词
| Word | Phonetic Symbol | Part of Speech | English definition | Simplified Chinese translation | Sample sentences |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| mandatory | /ˈmændətɔːri/ | adjective | required by law or rules; compulsory | 强制性的 | Mathematics should be a mandatory subject in high school due to its wide applications. |
| exposure | /ɪkˈspoʊʒər/ | noun | the state of being exposed to something | 暴露 | Students' exposure to math has been declining in recent years. |
| foundation | /faʊnˈdeɪʃən/ | noun | an underlying basis or principle | 基础 | Mathematics is the foundation for studying other fields like engineering and science. |
| obligatory | /əˈblɪɡətɔːri/ | adjective | required to be done because of a law or rule | 必修的 | My country treats mathematics as an obligatory course in high school. |
| undergraduate | /ˌʌndərˈɡrædʒuət/ | noun | a university student who has not yet received a first degree | 本科生 | I can overcome all the difficulties in my undergraduate study with a solid foundation in math. |
| academic | /ˌækəˈdɛmɪk/ | adjective | relating to education and scholarship | 学术的 | My outstanding academic performance allows me to be accepted by a well-known graduate school. |
| reputation | /ˌrɛpjʊˈteɪʃən/ | noun | the beliefs or opinions that are generally held about someone | 声誉 | The graduate school I was accepted into has an exceptional reputation. |
| accomplishment | /əˈkʌmplɪʃmənt/ | noun | something that has been achieved successfully | 成就 | - My outstanding academic performance gives me a sense of accomplishment. |
| subsequent | /ˈsʌbsɪkwənt/ | adjective | happening after something else | 随后的 | I believe that mathematics should be mandatory due to its benefits in subsequent study. |
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