TOEFL TPO -1 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Some people argue that online advertising which uses personal information to target specific people is an invasion of privacy. Others argue that it's simply an acceptable way to reach consumers with products and services they're interested in. What's your take? Do you think targeted advertising is ethical, or is it an invasion of privacy?
Real user submissions with AI-powered evaluation and feedback
1 user-submitted samples available
Start Free PracticeTask Overview
Professor
Today, we're discussing the ethics of targeted advertising. Some people argue that online advertising which uses personal information to target specific people is an invasion of privacy. Others argue that it's simply an acceptable way to reach consumers with products and services they're interested in. What's your take? Do you think targeted advertising is ethical, or is it an invasion of privacy?
Jessica
I think targeted advertising is an invasion of privacy. Advertisers shouldn't be able to track and use our personal information to sell us products. It's not fair to customers, and it's a violation of our rights. Instead, advertisers should focus on creating high-quality ads that appeal to a broad audience. By doing that they can both increase their sales and show respect for their customers.
Mike
I disagree with Jessica. I think targeted advertising is ethical. It's a more efficient way to reach consumers with products and services that are relevant to their interests. With the money they save by using more effective marketing techniques, companies can afford to offer lower prices to their customers. Plus, we can always opt-out of targeted advertising by adjusting our privacy settings. As long we get a choice, I think targeted advertising can be beneficial.
User Samples & Evaluation Results
User Sample
Though Jessica's perspective that targeted advertising is an invasion of people's privacy is reasonable, I tend to agree with Mike more. I agree that targeted advertising is ethical and neccesary. As Mike mentioned, targeted advertising can enable certain advertisements to match those potential customers with consistent interests. For instance, a person keen on exercising can receive corresponding advertisement about nearby fitness services or bargain supplements that can aid his/her exercising. However, he may also receive those useless advertisement about car loans or housing without targeted advertisement strategy. In this way, companies have to pay more on advertising and people just get really annoyed by countless advertisement mostly recommending what they don't need. Apart from what Mike pointed out, I'd like to add that when targeted advertisements are sent to certain people, those people can meet with merchandise consistent with their economic affordability, and it's actually homage and concern for customers on a certain degree. The rich can see advertisements about luxury and jewelry, while the poor can receive ones about food and groccery, which can actually promote social fairness. On the contrast, people in poverty will be exposed to expensive cars and houses that they can't afford. Therefore, targeted advertisement is undoubtedly ethical and also quite beneficial to all customers.
Evaluation Result
1. 子项得分
-
Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 5
-
Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.5
-
Language Use and Grammar: 4
2. 预估分数
26. (4.17)
3. 任务完成度
整体而言,你的文章回答了问题,并对两个观点进行了讨论。然而,有一些地方可以改进。首先,在支持你的观点时,可以提供更多具体的例子和详细信息。此外,尽管文章中的语法错误不多,但还是有一些需要注意的地方。
改进建议示例(英文):
-
在支持你的观点时,可以提供更多具体的例子和详细信息。例如:“Targeted advertising can also help small businesses reach their niche audience more effectively, allowing them to compete with larger companies.”
-
注意语法错误和表达。例如:“On the contrast” 应该改为 “In contrast”。
4. 文章结构与组织
从结构和组织角度来看,你的文章基本上是清晰的。然而,在某些地方可以进行优化。首先,在引入段落中明确提出自己的观点会使文章更具说服力。其次,在正文段落中使用过渡词汇能使文章更连贯。
改进建议示例(英文):
-
在引入段落中明确提出自己的观点:例如:“In this essay, I will argue that targeted advertising is ethical and beneficial for both consumers and businesses.”
-
在正文段落中使用过渡词汇:例如:“Firstly, targeted advertising allows companies to reach their potential customers more efficiently.”
5. 语法批改
Though Jessica's perspective that targeted advertising is an invasion of people's privacy is reasonable, I tend to agree with Mike more. I agree that targeted advertising is ethical and neccesary.necessary. As Mike mentioned, targeted advertising can enable certain advertisements to match those potential customers with consistent interests. For instance, a person keen on exercising can receive corresponding advertisementadvertisements about nearby fitness services or bargain supplements that can aid his/her exercising. However, he may also receive those useless advertisementadvertisements about car loans or housing without targeted advertisement strategy. In this way, companies have to pay more on advertisingadvertising, and people just get really annoyed by countless advertisementadvertisements mostly recommending what they don't need. Apart from what Mike pointed out, I'd like to add that when targeted advertisements are sent to certain people, those people can meet with merchandise consistent with their economic affordability, and it's actually homage and concern for customers onto a certain degree. The rich can see advertisements about luxury and jewelry, while the poor can receive ones about food and groccery,grocery, which can actually promote social fairness. On the contrast,contrary, people in poverty will be exposed to expensive cars and houses that they can't afford. Therefore, targeted advertisement is undoubtedly ethical and also quite beneficial to all customers.
Section Title: The Ethics of Targeted Advertising
While Jessica's argument that targeted advertising infringes on individual privacy has merit, I find myself more inclined to agree with Mike's stance that it is ethical and necessary. As Mike pointed out, targeted advertising allows for the delivery of relevant ads to potential customers based on their interests. For example, an exercise enthusiast may receive advertisements for local fitness services or discounted supplements, whereas without targeted advertising, they might be inundated with irrelevant ads for car loans or housing. Consequently, companies would need to spend more on advertising while consumers would be bombarded with countless ads promoting products they have no interest in.
In addition to Mike's points, I would like to emphasize that targeted advertising can cater to individuals' economic affordability, demonstrating a certain level of respect and consideration for customers. Affluent individuals may see ads for luxury items and jewelry, while those with lower incomes might receive promotions for food and groceries. This approach can contribute to social equity by ensuring that people are not exposed to advertisements for products they cannot afford. Thus, targeted advertising is not only ethical but also beneficial for all parties involved. (196 words)
Though Section Title: The Ethics of Targeted Advertising
While Jessica's perspective that targeted advertising is an invasion of people's argument that targeted advertising infringes on individual privacy is reasonable, has merit (clarification of the argument), I tend find myself more inclined to agree with Mike more. I agree that targeted advertising Mike's stance that it is ethical and neccesary. necessary (clarification of personal opinion). As Mike mentioned, targeted advertising can enable certain advertisements to match those pointed out, targeted advertising allows for the delivery of relevant ads to potential customers with consistent interests. based on their interests (rephrasing for clarity). For instance, a person keen on exercising can example, an exercise enthusiast may receive corresponding advertisement about nearby advertisements for local fitness services or bargain supplements that can aid his/her exercising. However, he may also receive those useless advertisement about discounted supplements, whereas without targeted advertising, they might be inundated with irrelevant ads for car loans or housing without targeted advertisement strategy. In this way, (providing a specific example). Consequently, companies have to pay would need to spend more on advertising and people just get really annoyed by while consumers would be bombarded with countless advertisement mostly recommending what ads promoting products they don't need. Apart from what Mike pointed out, I'd have no interest in (explaining the negative consequences).
In addition to Mike's points (connecting to previous ideas), I would like to add that when targeted advertisements are sent to certain people, those people emphasize that targeted advertising can meet with merchandise consistent with their cater to individuals' economic affordability, and it's actually homage and concern for customers on demonstrating a certain degree. The rich can level of respect and consideration for customers (introducing a new point). Affluent individuals may see advertisements about ads for luxury items and jewelry, while the poor those with lower incomes might receive promotions for food and groceries (providing examples). This approach can receive ones about food and groccery, which can actually promote contribute to social fairness. On the contrast, equity by ensuring that people in poverty will be are not exposed to expensive cars and houses that advertisements for products they can't afford. Therefore, targeted advertisement cannot afford (explaining the benefits). Thus, targeted advertising is undoubtedly not only ethical and but also quite beneficial to for all customers.parties involved (concluding statement).
8 思维导图
1. The Ethics of Targeted Advertising
├── A. Jessica's argument: privacy infringement
├── B. Mike's stance: ethical and necessary
│ ├── i. Relevant ads based on interests
│ └── ii. Example: exercise enthusiast vs car loans or housing ads
└── C. Additional points
├── i. Cater to economic affordability
│ ├── a. Luxury items for affluent individuals
│ └── b. Promotions for food and groceries for lower incomes
└── ii. Contribute to social equity
9 关键词
| Word | Phonetic Symbol | Part of Speech | English Definition | Simplified Chinese Translation | Sample Sentence |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Infringe | /ɪnˈfrɪndʒ/ | Verb | Actively break the terms of a law, agreement, etc | 侵犯 | Targeted advertising may infringe on individual privacy |
| Inclined | /ɪnˈklaɪnd/ | Adjective | Have a tendency to do something | 倾向于 | I find myself more inclined to agree with Mike's stance |
| Irrelevant | /ɪˈrɛləvənt/ | Adjective | Not connected with or relevant to something | 不相关的 | They might be inundated with irrelevant ads |
| Inundate | /ˈinənˌdāt/ | Verb | Overwhelm (someone) with things or people to be dealt with | 淹没 | They might be inundated with irrelevant ads |
| Affordability | /əˌfɔrˈdæbəlɪti/ | Noun | The state of being inexpensive enough for people to be able to buy | 可负担性 | Targeted advertising can cater to individuals' economic affordability |
| Affluent | /ˈaflo͞oənt/ | Adjective | Having a great deal of money; wealthy | 富裕的 | Affluent individuals may see ads for luxury items |
| Equity | /ˈekwədē/ | Noun | The quality of being fair and impartial | 公平 | This approach can contribute to social equity |
| Expose | /ikˈspōz/ | Verb | Make (something) visible, typically by uncovering it | 暴露 | Ensuring that people are not exposed to advertisements for products they cannot afford |
| Beneficial | /benəˈfiSHəl/ | _Adjective | _Resulting in good; favorable or advantageous | _有益的 | _Thus, targeted advertising is not only ethical but also beneficial for all parties involved. |
How Academic Discussion Is Scored
The TOEFL Academic Discussion task is evaluated based on the official ETS scoring rubric. AI evaluation analyzes each response across multiple dimensions.
Relevance & Contribution
Does the response address the question and contribute meaningfully to the discussion?
Language Use
Grammar accuracy, vocabulary range, and sentence structure quality.
Development & Support
Are ideas well-developed with specific examples and clear reasoning?
Common Patterns Across Responses
Based on analysis of user submissions for this task, here are common patterns observed in student responses.
Many students provide clear opinions but lack specific supporting examples.
Strong responses directly reference the reading passage and other speakers' viewpoints.
Higher-scoring responses use varied sentence structures and academic vocabulary.
Time management is a key factor — responses that feel rushed tend to score lower on development.
Learning Tips
Read the prompt carefully and identify all parts of the question before writing.
Reference the reading passage and the other students' opinions in your response.
Use specific examples to support your main point — avoid generic statements.
Aim for 120-150 words. Longer responses are not always better; clarity and focus matter more.
Practice timed responses (10 minutes) to build fluency under exam conditions.
task_page_faq.title
task_page_faq.q1
task_page_faq.q2
task_page_faq.q3
task_page_faq.q4
task_page_faq.q5
task_page_faq.q6
Related TOEFL Academic Discussion Tasks
All TOEFL Writing Samples
Browse all user-submitted TOEFL writing samples with AI evaluation
TOEFL Academic Discussion Guide
Learn strategies and tips for the Academic Discussion writing task
TOEFL Writing Guide
Complete guide to all TOEFL writing task types and scoring
TOEFL Speaking Guide
Master all TOEFL speaking tasks with expert strategies
TOEFL Reading Guide
Strategies for TOEFL reading comprehension tasks
TOEFL Listening Guide
Tips and practice for TOEFL listening comprehension
Related TOEFL Academic Discussion Tasks
Consumer Behavior
426 user-submitted samples available
Write A Post Responding To The Professors Question
1646 user-submitted samples available
Economics
325 user-submitted samples available
Academic Discussion
1031 user-submitted samples available
Environmental Science
501 user-submitted samples available
Sociology
1683 user-submitted samples available
Conquiste sua nota ideal no TOEFL hoje!
Com a LingoLeap, especialista em exames de inglês
Alcance sua pontuação dos sonhos mais rápido