TOEFL TPO -1 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: So do you think the decrease in using cash is positive or negative?Why?

1. 子项得分

• Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5

• Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0

• Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2. 预估分数

26. 3 任务完成度

整体来说，这篇文章较好地回答了问题，表达了对于现金使用减少的看法。但是，可以在以下方面进行改进：

1. 更具体地解释数字货币如何提高安全性。

2. 对Alice的观点进行更详细的讨论和反驳。

示例1：为了提高安全性，数字货币需要用户输入密码或使用生物识别技术，如指纹或面部识别，以验证身份。这种方式确保了即使丢失手机或信用卡，他人也无法轻易盗用账户。

示例2：尽管Alice认为现金有助于控制支出，但数字支付方式可以通过设置消费限额、实时查看账户余额等功能来实现类似效果。因此，在支出控制方面并不存在明显劣势。

4. 文章结构与组织

文章的结构和组织基本合理，包括引言、正文和结论。但可以在以下方面进行改进：

1. 在引言中简要概述两位学生的观点，并明确自己的立场。

2. 在正文中分段讨论不同的论点，使用过渡词或短语连接各个观点。

示例1：在文章开头，可以这样写：“在本次讨论中，Peter和Alice分别表达了他们对现金使用减少的看法。Peter认为这是一种积极现象，而Alice则持相反意见。在我看来，我倾向于支持Peter的观点。”

示例2：在正文部分，可以使用过渡词或短语来连接不同观点：“首先，数字货币确实提高了支付安全性。其次，在支出控制方面，虽然Alice认为现金有助于控制支出，但数字支付方式也有其优势。”

5. 语法批改

In my opinion, I incline with Peter’s perspective that using digital money offers more benefits. Using digital money to make purchases is a safer way. To be specific, digital money would be more safe from stealing, because without knowing the passwords of the bank account, the stealer can not use the money even though they get the credit card. And then by informing banks about the stealing things, banks could make a new credit card very soon, so there is no negative impact on people’s ordinary lives. Alice’s notion has its merits, however, digital money also has its own special way to help people to control their spendings, like budgeting apps, which can create an analyze report about every spending during a mouth or a year and help people to manage money in aan(Use of 'a' vs. 'an') efficiently wayefficient way(Adverb instead of an adjective). In conclusion, the decrease in using cash is a positive phenomenaa positive phenomenon(Agreement: 'a' + plural word).

Title: 6 文章修订

In my opinion, the decrease in using cash has more positive aspects, as illustrated by Peter's viewpoint on the advantages of digital money. Utilizing digital forms of payment provides enhanced security; for instance, it is more difficult for thieves to access funds without knowing the account passwords. Furthermore, banks can quickly issue new credit cards upon notification of theft, minimizing disruptions to daily life. While Alice's argument regarding budget awareness holds merit, digital money offers alternative solutions for monitoring expenses. Budgeting apps can generate comprehensive reports detailing spending habits over a month or year, thus enabling efficient financial management. Therefore, the shift away from cash usage is a favorable development. (113 words)

In my opinion, I the decrease in using cash has more positive aspects (Changed "I incline with Peter’s Peter's perspective that using digital money offers more benefits. Using benefits" to clarify the point and make it more concise), as illustrated by Peter's viewpoint on the advantages of digital money money. Utilizing digital forms of payment provides enhanced security (Rephrased "safer way" to make purchases emphasize the security aspect); for instance, it is a safer way. To be specific, digital money would be more safe from stealing, because difficult for thieves to access funds without knowing the account passwords of (Clarified the bank account, the stealer point about safety from stealing). Furthermore, banks can not use the money even though they get the credit card. And then by informing banks about the stealing things, banks could make a quickly issue new credit card very soon, so there is no negative impact on people’s ordinary lives. Alice’s notion has its merits, however, cards upon notification of theft, minimizing disruptions to daily life (Revised sentence structure for clarity). While Alice's argument regarding budget awareness holds merit (Acknowledged Alice's notion), digital money also has its own special way offers alternative solutions for monitoring expenses. Budgeting apps can generate comprehensive reports detailing spending habits over a month or year (Clarified how budgeting apps work), thus enabling efficient financial management (Connected budgeting apps to help people to control their spendings, like budgeting apps, which can create an analyze report about every spending during a mouth or a year and help people to manage managing money in a efficiently way. In conclusion, efficiently). Therefore, the decrease in using shift away from cash usage is a positive phenomena.favorable development (Concluded with a clear statement on the topic).

8 思维导图

1. 引言
   - 陈述观点：减少使用现金的积极方面

2. 彼得的观点：数字货币的优势
   - 安全性增强
     - 难以在不知道密码的情况下盗取资金
     - 银行可迅速补发信用卡，减少生活中断

3. 爱丽丝的观点：预算意识
   - 数字货币提供替代解决方案
     - 预算应用程序生成详细报告，监控支出习惯

4. 结论：减少使用现金是有利的发展趋势。

9 关键词