TOEFL TPO -1 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: But do you think the internet has a positive influence on appreciating and preserving cultural heritage? Please have a discussion about this.
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Professor
Last week, we talked about cultural heritage. As you can see, right now it seems that we have easier access to various resources through the internet. You can easily watch and appreciate different cultural and historical sites and artifacts just on a screen. But do you think the internet has a positive influence on appreciating and preserving cultural heritage? Please have a discussion about this.
Ryan
I think the internet has a negative influence on appreciating and preserving cultural heritage. In the past, if you wanted to know something about Mona Lisa, you’d have to spend time doing your research, going to the library or asking your professor for help. But now, people just click buttons and then forget about it in three days. So, I don’t think it’s a good thing.
Phoebe
Internet definitely has a positive influence on people’s appreciating cultural heritage. It provides the most convenient way for people to look at a famous painting or a sculpture without even getting out of their house, which was not imaginable a hundred years ago.
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From my perspective, I agree with Phoebe's opinion that the internet has a positive influence on appreciating and preserving cultural heritage. In addition to providing a more convenient way for people to get access to cultural heritage, the internet also has advantages in offering people more information about a certain historical site or artifact, allowing people to have a more profound understanding of it. For example, before I went to visit a famous ancient palace, looking up information about it online in advance largely helped me gain an outlined profile of the palace, making my travel more efficient and more fluent. According to my personal experience, I assert that the internet can better preserve cultural heritage. Although viewing those cherishable treasures of human civilization online cannot completely take the place of visiting them in person, we have to admit that the internet offers people an advantageous way to truly understand the value and meaning of them.
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1. 子项得分
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Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5
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Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0
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Language Use and Grammar: 4.5
2. 预估分数
- 28
3. 任务完成度
这篇文章在任务完成度方面表现良好,回答了问题并提供了合理的观点。但是,可以在以下方面进行改进:
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更具体的例子来支持观点。
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对Ryan的观点进行更深入的讨论和反驳。
改进示例:
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在提到互联网如何帮助人们更深入地了解文化遗产时,可以举一个具体的例子,如:“例如,在线博物馆展览使人们能够详细了解古代文物的历史背景和制作过程。”
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针对Ryan的观点,可以反驳说:“虽然互联网确实使获取信息变得容易,但这也意味着更多人有机会接触到各种文化遗产。因此,我们不能仅仅因为获取信息变得容易就认为互联网对文化遗产的保护和欣赏产生负面影响。”
4. 文章结构与组织
文章结构清晰,包括引言、正文和结论。然而,在以下方面还有改进的空间:
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在正文部分,可以使用更明确的主题句来引导每个段落的内容。
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在段落之间增加过渡性词语,使文章更连贯。
改进示例:
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在第一个正文段落开头,可以使用一个明确的主题句,如:“首先,互联网为人们提供了方便快捷的途径来欣赏和了解文化遗产。”
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在段落之间添加过渡性词语,如:“此外”,“然而”或“因此”,以使文章在不同观点之间更连贯。例如:“此外,在线资源还能帮助人们更深入地了解文化遗产背后的历史和故事。”
5. 语法批改
From my perspective, I agree with Phoebe's opinion that the internet has a positive influence on appreciating and preserving cultural heritage. In addition to providing a more convenient way for people to get access to cultural heritage, the internet also has advantages in offering people more information about a certain historical site or artifact, allowing people to have a more profound understanding of it. For example, before I went to visit a famous ancient palace, looking up information about it online in advance largely helped me gain an outlined profile of the palace, making my travel more efficient and more fluent. According to my personal experience, I assert that the internet can better preserve cultural heritage. Although viewing those cherishable treasures of human civilization online cannot completely take the place of visiting them in person, we have to admit that the internet offers people an advantageous way to truly understand the value and meaning of them.
Section Title: The Internet's Influence on Cultural Heritage Appreciation and Preservation
In my view, I concur with Phoebe that the internet positively impacts the appreciation and preservation of cultural heritage. Beyond affording individuals a more accessible means of engaging with cultural artifacts, the internet also presents extensive information about specific historical sites or objects, enabling a deeper comprehension of their significance. For instance, prior to visiting a renowned ancient palace, researching it online beforehand greatly facilitated an overview of its features, rendering my excursion more efficient and seamless. Based on my personal experience, I maintain that the internet bolsters cultural heritage preservation. While virtual interactions with these invaluable treasures of human civilization cannot entirely supplant physical visits, it is undeniable that the internet equips individuals with an advantageous method for truly grasping their worth and meaning. (136 words)
From Revised essay: Section Title: The Internet's Influence on Cultural Heritage Appreciation and Preservation
In my perspective, view (revised for a more natural tone), I agree with Phoebe's opinion concur with Phoebe that the internet has positively impacts (changed "has a positive influence on appreciating and preserving on" for better flow) the appreciation and preservation of cultural heritage. In addition to providing Beyond affording individuals a more accessible means (rephrased "providing a more convenient way for people to get access to cultural heritage, way" for clarity) of engaging with cultural artifacts, the internet also has advantages in offering people more presents extensive information about a certain specific historical site sites or artifact, allowing objects, enabling a deeper comprehension of their significance (rephrased "allowing people to have a more profound understanding of it. it" for better flow). For example, before I went to visit a famous instance, prior to visiting a renowned ancient palace, looking researching it online beforehand greatly facilitated an overview of its features (rephrased "looking up information about it online in advance largely helped me gain an outlined profile of the palace, making palace" for clarity), rendering my travel excursion more efficient and more fluent. According to seamless (changed "more fluent" to "seamless" for better word choice). Based on my personal experience, I assert maintain that the internet bolsters cultural heritage preservation (rephrased "the internet can better preserve cultural heritage. Although viewing heritage" for improved flow). While virtual interactions with these invaluable treasures of human civilization cannot entirely supplant physical visits (rephrased "viewing those cherishable treasures of human civilization online treasures...online cannot completely take the place of visiting them in person, we have to admit person" for clarity), it is undeniable that the internet equips individuals with an advantageous method for truly grasping their worth and meaning (rephrased "the internet offers people an advantageous way to truly understand the value and meaning of them.them" for better flow).
8 思维导图
- Internet's Influence
- Cultural Heritage Appreciation
- Accessible means of engagement
- Extensive information available
- Deeper comprehension of significance
- Cultural Heritage Preservation
- Researching historical sites/objects online
- Efficient and seamless excursions
- Virtual interactions complement physical visits
- Personal Experience
- Visiting ancient palace example
- Internet bolstered appreciation and preservation efforts
9 关键词
| Word | Phonetic Symbol | Part of Speech | English Definition | Simplified Chinese Translation | Sample Sentence |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| concur | /kənˈkɜr/ | verb | to agree or have the same opinion about something | 同意,一致意见 | I concur with Phoebe that the internet positively impacts the appreciation and preservation of cultural heritage. |
| accessible | /əkˈsɛsəbəl/ | adjective | easy to approach, reach, enter, speak with, or use; obtainable; available | 易接近的,可获得的,可用的 | The internet affords individuals a more accessible means of engaging with cultural artifacts. |
| extensive | /ɪkˈstɛnsɪv/ | adjective | covering or affecting a large area; far-reaching; wide-ranging | 广泛的,大量的 | The internet presents extensive information about specific historical sites or objects. |
| comprehension | /ˌkɒmprɪˈhɛnʃən/ | noun | intelligence as manifested in being quick and ready to understand; the capacity for understanding fully | 理解,领悟 | The internet enables a deeper comprehension of the significance of cultural heritage. |
| facilitate | /fəˈsɪlɪteɪt/ | verb | to make easier or less difficult; help forward (an action, a process, etc.) | 促进,使便利 | Researching an ancient palace online beforehand greatly facilitated an overview of its features. |
| excursion | /ɪkˈskɜrʒən/ | noun | a short trip or outing to some place, usually for a special purpose and with the intention of a prompt return | 短途旅行,远足 | My excursion to the ancient palace was more efficient and seamless thanks to the internet. |
| bolster | /ˈboʊlstər/ | verb | to support or strengthen; prop up; boost | 支持,加强,提高 | I maintain that the internet bolsters cultural heritage preservation. |
| supplant | /səˈplænt/ | verb | to take the place of (another), as through force, scheming, strategy, or the like; replace; supersede | 取代,替代 | Virtual interactions cannot entirely supplant physical visits to cultural heritage sites. |
| advantageous | /ˌædvənˈteɪdʒəs/ | adjective | providing an advantage; furnishing convenience or opportunity; favorable; beneficial; useful | 有利的,有益的,方便的 | The internet equips individuals with an advantageous method for truly grasping the worth and meaning of cultural heritage. |
Section Title: The Internet's Influence on Cultural Heritage Appreciation and Preservation
In my view, I concur with Phoebe that the internet positively impacts the appreciation and preservation of cultural heritage. Beyond affording individuals a more accessible means of engaging with cultural artifacts, the internet also presents extensive information about specific historical sites or objects, enabling a deeper comprehension of their significance. For instance, prior to visiting a renowned ancient palace, researching it online beforehand greatly facilitated an overview of its features, rendering my excursion more efficient and seamless. Based on my personal experience, I maintain that the internet bolsters cultural heritage preservation. While virtual interactions with these invaluable treasures of human civilization cannot entirely supplant physical visits, it is undeniable that the internet equips individuals with an advantageous method for truly grasping their worth and meaning.
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