TOEFL TPO -1 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: whether people should set ambitious or realistic goals

1. 子项得分

• Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5

• Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0

• Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2. 预估分数

26. 3 任务完成度

整体而言，你的文章在完成任务方面做得很好。你清楚地表达了自己的观点，并提供了一些支持论据。然而，为了更好地完成任务，你可以尝试以下几点改进：

1. 提供更多具体的例子来支持你的观点。

2. 讨论一下设定雄心勃勃的目标可能带来的优势，以便进行更全面的讨论。

示例1（英文）： For instance, a student who sets a realistic goal of improving their English skills by practicing for one hour every day is more likely to achieve success than someone who aims to become fluent in just one month.

示例2（英文）： On the other hand, setting ambitious goals can also have its benefits, such as pushing individuals to challenge themselves and explore their full potential.

4. 文章结构与组织

从组织结构上看，你的文章已经具备了清晰的结构，包括引言、正文和结论。每个段落都集中讨论了一个特定观点，并提供了支持细节。但是，在以下方面还有改进空间：

1. 在段落之间加入更明确的过渡词或短语，使文章更连贯。

2. 在结论部分总结全文观点，呼应引言中的论述。

示例1（英文）： To illustrate this point, consider the case of a young professional who sets achievable goals for their career advancement, such as earning a promotion within two years (Add a transition: "In contrast,").

示例2（英文）： In conclusion, while ambitious dreams can inspire individuals to strive for greatness, setting realistic goals is crucial for steady progress and long-term success.

5. 语法批改

When it comes to the question of whetherwhether(the question whether (whether) etc.) people should focus on ambitious dreams rather than realistic goals, opinions vary from people to people. As far as I am concerned, I firmly believe that it is conducive to headinghead(it is ... to doing (do)) for the realistic goals.

Establishing realistic goals enables individuals to lay a solid foundation of their professional skills. The fact we cannot neglect is that realistic goals are easier and clearer for people to implement detailed and concrete plans of doing a project, which ignites their motivation to devote themselves to what they do in handy. In other words, thanks to the sense of achievement brought by finishing a realistic target, individuals will be more capable of enhancing their confidence and passion to follow their goals steadily, thus allowing them to be successful step by step. Although the ambitious dreams play a role in spurring one’s potential capability when he is under the significantly predicamentsignificant predicament(Adverb instead of an adjective), the continuous falituresfailures(misspelling) will defeat people to make them discouraged and pessimistic, thus depriving them fromdepriving them of(Collocation: deprive from/of) having a firm determination to be successful. Therefore, there is every reason to believe that achieving realistic goals is beneficial for people to accumulate more experience and knowledge with a steadfast resolution and an indestructible courage.

Section Title: Ambitious vs. Realistic Goals

When considering whether individuals should set ambitious dreams or realistic goals, opinions tend to differ. In my view, pursuing realistic goals is more advantageous for personal and professional growth.

Focusing on realistic goals allows individuals to build a strong foundation for their professional skills. It is important to recognize that realistic goals are often easier and clearer for people to create detailed and concrete plans for projects, which in turn fuels their motivation to fully commit themselves to the task at hand. In other words, the sense of achievement derived from accomplishing a realistic target empowers individuals to boost their confidence and passion in pursuing their objectives consistently, ultimately leading them towards success incrementally. While ambitious dreams can indeed stimulate one's potential capabilities during challenging situations, continuous failures may discourage and foster pessimism, consequently eroding one's determination to succeed. Thus, it stands to reason that achieving realistic goals enables individuals to steadily accumulate experience and knowledge while maintaining unwavering resolve and indomitable courage. (169 words)

Revised essay: Section Title: Ambitious vs. Realistic Goals (Changed the title to clearly reflect the topic being discussed)

When it comes to the question of considering whether people individuals should focus on set ambitious dreams rather than or realistic goals, opinions vary from tend to differ (Rephrased for clarity and a more natural tone). In my view, pursuing realistic goals is more advantageous for personal and professional growth (Clarified the author's stance).

Focusing on realistic goals allows individuals to build a strong foundation for their professional skills (Simplified sentence structure). It is important to recognize that realistic goals are often easier and clearer for people to people. As far as I am concerned, I firmly believe that it is conducive to heading for the realistic goals. ¶ Establishing realistic goals enables individuals to lay a solid foundation of their professional skills. The fact we cannot neglect is that realistic goals are easier and clearer for people to implement create detailed and concrete plans of doing a project, for projects, which ignites in turn fuels their motivation to devote fully commit themselves to what they do in handy. the task at hand (Revised sentence structure for clarity). In other words, thanks to the sense of achievement brought by finishing derived from accomplishing a realistic target, individuals will be more capable of enhancing target empowers individuals to boost their confidence and passion to follow their goals steadily, thus allowing in pursuing their objectives consistently, ultimately leading them to be successful step by step. Although the towards success incrementally (Clarified meaning and improved sentence flow). While ambitious dreams play a role in spurring one’s can indeed stimulate one's potential capability when he is under the significantly predicament, the capabilities during challenging situations, continuous falitures will defeat people to make them discouraged and pessimistic, thus depriving them from having a firm failures may discourage and foster pessimism, consequently eroding one's determination to be successful. Therefore, there is every succeed (Rephrased for clarity). Thus, it stands to reason to believe that achieving realistic goals is beneficial for people to enables individuals to steadily accumulate more experience and knowledge with a steadfast resolution and an indestructible courage.while maintaining unwavering resolve and indomitable courage (Improved sentence structure and flow).

Display title: 8 思维导图

1. Ambitious vs. Realistic Goals
   1.1 Personal and professional growth
       1.1.1 Realistic goals
           1.1.1.1 Strong foundation for professional skills
           1.1.1.2 Detailed and concrete plans
           1.1.1.3 Motivation and commitment
           1.1.1.4 Sense of achievement
           1.1.1.5 Confidence and passion
       2 Ambitious dreams
           2.2 Potential capabilities stimulation
           2.3 Continuous failures risk
               2..3 Pessimism and eroded determination

Display title: 9 关键词