TOEFL TPO -1 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Some economists argue that a good way to reduce air pollution is for governments to raise the cost(through taxes or other means) of fuel for cars. Do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint? Why?
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Dr. Achebe
Today, we will examine what economists call incentives-the motivations that lead people to make certain choices. Cost is a major category of economic incentives. People tend to change their behavior when a particular choice gets more expensive. Let's discuss an example. Some economists argue that a good way to reduce air pollution is for governments to raise the cost(through taxes or other means) of fuel for cars. Do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint? Why?
Claire
I disagree. Why should individuals be punished with such an added expense in their daily lives? The argument for a consumer fuel tax makes the assumption that cars are the biggest source of air pollution, and we need to question if that's an accurate assumption.
Paul
I think it would be a good idea to raise fuel prices. Making it more expensive to drive cars would cause many people to choose public transportation or use bicycles instead. In my city, they've just added bicycle lanes to all of the major roads. So, it would be easy to give up driving.
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I wholeheartedly concur with Claire’s idea. The most significant reason is increasing fuel price can cause the problem of rich and poor gaps even more severe. People who lived in remote suburban obviously with low-income result in the unaffordability of buying an apartment in the center of the city. But usually companies located in the center of the city, forcing suburban drive a long way towards their work place. with the increasing price of the fuel, they may have a heavier financial burden. This punishment to the needs didn’t really solve the problem instead, people living in the city center are not constricted by this change but people living in remote region are still driving vehicles but paying a higher price.
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1. 子项得分
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Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.0
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Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 3.5
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Language Use and Grammar: 3.5
2. 预估分数
- 22
3. 任务完成度
你的文章基本上回答了问题,但还有一些地方需要改进。首先,你可以更详细地解释为什么提高燃料价格会加剧贫富差距。此外,你可以提供其他方法来减少空气污染,以支持你的观点。
例子1(改进): 我同意克莱尔的观点,认为提高燃料价格并非解决空气污染的最佳方法。首先,这种做法可能会加剧贫富差距。低收入家庭往往居住在城市边缘地区,而公司通常位于市中心。因此,他们需要长途驾车上班。如果燃料价格上涨,他们将承受更大的经济压力。
例子2(改进): 此外,政府可以采取其他措施来减少空气污染。例如,政府可以投资公共交通设施,并鼓励人们使用自行车或步行出行。这样一来,人们就不再过度依赖私家车,从而减少空气污染。
4. 文章结构与组织
你的文章结构基本清晰,但可以进一步改进。首先,可以在开头部分简要介绍你的观点。然后,在正文部分详细阐述你的论点,并提供支持细节。最后,在结尾部分总结你的观点。
例子1(改进): 引言:在本文中,我将讨论为什么我不同意通过提高燃料价格来减少空气污染的观点。
例子2(改进): 结论:总之,虽然提高燃料价格可能会促使一些人选择公共交通或自行车出行,但这种做法可能加剧贫富差距,并给低收入家庭带来更大的经济压力。因此,政府应该寻求其他方法来解决空气污染问题。
5. 语法批改
I wholeheartedly concur with Claire’s idea. The most significant reason is increasing fuel price can cause the problem of rich and poor gaps even more severe. People who lived in remote suburbansuburban,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) obviously with low-income result in the unaffordabilityaffordability(misspelling) of buying an apartment in the center of the city. But usually companies located in the center of the city, forcing suburban drive a long way towards their work place. withWith(Checks that a sentence starts with an uppercase letter) the increasing price of the fuel, they may have a heavier financial burden. This punishment to the needs didn’t really solve the problem instead, people living in the city center are not constricted by this change but people living in remote region are still driving vehicles but paying a higher price.
Section Title: 6 Article Revision
I wholeheartedly concur with Claire's perspective. The most significant reason is that increasing fuel prices can exacerbate the issue of wealth disparity. People residing in remote suburban areas, typically with lower incomes, may struggle to afford housing in city centers where companies are predominantly located. Consequently, they are compelled to commute long distances to their workplaces. With the rising cost of fuel, these individuals may face an even greater financial burden. This punitive measure does not genuinely address the problem; instead, it disproportionately affects those living in remote regions who continue driving vehicles but at a higher expense. (103 words)
Revised essay: Section Title: 7 Article Revision
I wholeheartedly concur with Claire’s idea. Claire's idea (changed "perspective" to "idea" for better clarity). The most significant reason is that increasing fuel price prices can cause exacerbate the problem issue of rich and poor gaps even more severe. wealth disparity (rephrased for better readability). People who lived residing in remote suburban obviously areas, typically with low-income result lower incomes, may struggle to afford housing in city centers where companies are predominantly located (restructured sentence for better flow). Consequently, they are compelled to commute long distances to their workplaces. With the unaffordability rising cost of buying fuel, these individuals may face an apartment in even greater financial burden (rephrased for better readability). This punitive measure does not genuinely address the center of the city. But usually companies located in the center of the city, forcing suburban drive a long way towards their work place. with the increasing price of the fuel, they may have a heavier financial burden. This punishment to the needs didn’t really solve the problem problem; instead, people living in the city center are not constricted by this change but people it disproportionately affects those living in remote region are still regions who continue driving vehicles but paying at a higher price.expense (restructured sentence for better flow).
8 思维导图
1. Introduction
- Agree with Claire's perspective
2. Wealth Disparity
- Remote suburban areas
- Lower incomes
- Struggle to afford city housing
3. Commuting Issues
- Long distances to workplaces
- Rising fuel costs
4. Financial Burden
- Increased expenses for remote residents
5. Punitive Measures
- Disproportionate effects on remote regions
6. Conclusion
- Address the problem without exacerbating wealth disparity
9 关键词
| Word | Phonetic Symbol | Part of Speech | English Definition | Simplified Chinese Translation | Sample Sentence |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| wholeheartedly | /ˌhoʊlˈhɑːrtɪdli/ | adverb | with complete sincerity and commitment | 全心全意地 | I wholeheartedly concur with Claire's perspective. |
| exacerbate | /ɪɡˈzæsərbeɪt/ | verb | make (a problem, bad situation, or negative feeling) worse | 加剧 | Increasing fuel prices can exacerbate the issue of wealth disparity. |
| disparity | /dɪˈspærəti/ | noun | a great difference | 差距 | The most significant reason is that increasing fuel prices can exacerbate the issue of wealth disparity. |
| predominantly | /prɪˈdɒmɪnəntli/ | adverb | mainly; for the most part | 主要地 | People residing in remote suburban areas may struggle to afford housing in city centers where companies are predominantly located. |
| compelled | /kəmˈpeld/ | verb | force or oblige (someone) to do something | 被迫 | Consequently, they are compelled to commute long distances to their workplaces. |
| punitive | /ˈpjuːnɪtɪv/ | adjective | inflicting or intended as punishment | 惩罚性的 | This punitive measure does not genuinely address the problem. |
| disproportionately | /dɪsproʊˈpɔrʃənətli/ | adverb | to an extent that is not fair or reasonable | 不成比例地 | It disproportionately affects those living in remote regions who continue driving vehicles but at a higher expense. |
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