TOEFL TPO -1 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: In class this week, we are looking at how markets work, particularly in regard to energy costs. Petroleum, also known simply as oil, is one of the mostimportantinternational commodities.When the global market price of oil goes up, fuels such as gasoline(petrol) also become more expensive.Many people think governments should step in to protect consumers fromincreases in fuel prices. What is your view? Do you think governments should actively keep fuel prices low for energy costs?

1. 子项得分

• Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5

• Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0

• Language Use and Grammar: 3.5

2. 预估分数

23. 3 任务完成度

这篇文章在完成任务方面做得不错，但仍有改进的空间。首先，尽管你提出了与讨论相关的观点，但可以通过提供更多具体的例子和细节来加强论据。此外，在语言使用和语法方面，文章中存在一些错误，需要加以修正。

改进建议（英文示例）：

1. 提供更多具体的例子和细节来支持你的观点。例如：“With the more expensive gasoline, people will be encouraged to use alternative transportation methods such as cycling or carpooling, which can reduce carbon emissions.”

2. 修改语言使用和语法错误。例如：“Nowadays, the increasing temperature is a big problem for all people on Earth.”（注意单词拼写和大写）

4. 文章结构与组织

文章结构方面还有待加强。虽然你的文章包括了引言、主体和结论，但在段落之间缺乏明确的过渡。此外，每个段落应更清晰地关注一个特定观点，并提供支持细节。

改进建议（英文示例）：

1. 在段落之间添加过渡句子以提高连贯性。例如，在引言和主体段落之间添加：“In this essay, I will discuss the reasons why I believe that keeping fuel prices low is a bad policy.”

2. 确保每个段落都关注一个特定观点，并提供支持细节。例如，可以将文章的主体部分分为两个段落，一个讨论环境问题，另一个讨论其他交通方式的优势。

5. 语法批改

I firmly believe that governementgovernment keeping gas procesprices low is a bad policy. There is no doubt that gas will make the environment worse. Nowadys,Nowadays, the increasing temperature is a big problem for all people on earth. If the government keeps fuel prices low, more and more people will prefer to use traditional cars. It is bad tofor the world. With the more expensive gasoline, people will choose to buy new energy cars. It will contribute fewer greenhouse gases to the air. StillStill, some people think keepthat keeping fuel prices high will make people have no choice to go to work. However, I think that people can use public transportation or walk to work. It can help the environment better,environment, and also can help people haveget more exercise can helpand maintain healthy.their health. That's why I do agree with Andrew.

Title: 6 文章修订

In my opinion, maintaining low fuel prices is an ill-advised government policy. Undoubtedly, the exacerbation of environmental issues, such as global warming, is a pressing concern for humanity. If governments artificially suppress fuel prices, it will inadvertently encourage the continued use of conventional vehicles. Conversely, higher gasoline prices would incentivize the adoption of alternative energy vehicles, consequently reducing greenhouse gas emissions. While some argue that elevated fuel costs may burden individuals who rely on personal transportation for work, alternative solutions like public transit or walking can be both environmentally friendly and health-promoting. Hence, I concur with Andrew's perspective on this matter. (104 words)

I firmly believe that governement keeping gas proces In my opinion, maintaining low fuel prices is an ill-advised government policy (revised for clarity and conciseness). Undoubtedly, the exacerbation of environmental issues (changed to a more specific term), such as global warming, is a bad policy. There is no doubt that gas will make the environment worse. Nowadys, the increasing temperature is a big problem pressing concern for all people on earth. humanity (rephrased for better flow). If the government keeps governments artificially suppress fuel prices low, more (clarified the action), it will inadvertently encourage the continued use of conventional vehicles (rephrased for clarity). Conversely, higher gasoline prices would incentivize the adoption of alternative energy vehicles (clarified the point), consequently reducing greenhouse gas emissions (added logical connection). While some argue that elevated fuel costs may burden individuals who rely on personal transportation for work (addressed counterargument), alternative solutions like public transit or walking can be both environmentally friendly and more people will prefer health-promoting (provided alternatives). Hence, I concur with Andrew's perspective on this matter (concluded with agreement to use traditional cars. It is bad to the world. With the more expensive gasoline, people will choose to buy new energy cars. It will contribute fewer greenhouse gases to the air. Still some people think keep fuel prices high will make people have no choice to go to work. However, I think that people can use public transportation or walk to work. It can help the environment better, and also can help people have more exercise can help maintain healthy. That's why I do agree with Andrew.Andrew's view).

Title: 8 思维导图

1. Introduction

   • Low fuel prices
   • Ill-advised government policy

2. Environmental issues

   • Global warming
   • Pressing concern for humanity

3. Artificially suppressing fuel prices

   • Encourages conventional vehicles use

4. Higher gasoline prices

   • Incentivize alternative energy vehicles adoption
   • Reduces greenhouse gas emissions

5. Counterargument: Elevated fuel costs burden individuals who rely on personal transportation for work.

6. Alternative solutions:

   • Public transit
   • Walking (environmentally friendly and health-promoting)

7. Agreement with Andrew's perspective

Title: 9 关键词