TOEFL TPO 42 Writing Task 1 Sample: Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they cast doubt on the specific solutions proposed in the reading passage.

1.子项得分 Task fulfillment: 4 Organization: 4 Coherence and Cohesion: 4 Language Use: 3

2.预估分数 Estimated Score: 25

3.任务完成度 在文章中，你成功地总结了听力材料中的观点，并解释了它们如何对阅读材料中提出的具体解决方案产生怀疑。然而，你可以更详细地描述听力部分中提到的问题，以便更清楚地表达这些观点。此外，注意避免使用重复的词汇和表达。

示例1（改进前）：Nonetheless, the lecturer presents the contradictory viewpoint that birds will still fly into the one-way glass. 示例1（改进后）：However, the lecturer argues that one-way glass is not an effective solution because it reflects sunlight like a mirror, causing birds to mistake it for open sky and still attempt to fly through it.

示例2（改进前）：Finally, the lecturer raises skepticism about the lecturer's third solution... 示例2（改进后）：Lastly, the speaker casts doubt on the third solution mentioned in the reading passage...

4.文章结构与组织 Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific point and provides supporting details from both reading and listening materials. However, you can improve your essay's organization by using clearer transitions between ideas and paragraphs.

Suggestion 1: Use more varied transition words or phrases to connect your ideas. Example 1 (Before): First and foremost, the author proposes... Example 1 (After): To begin with, the reading passage suggests...

Suggestion 2: Make sure your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of your essay. Example 2 (Before): While flying for short distance, like flying from one side of the city to another, the birds still rely on their eyes and sunlights. Example 2 (After): In conclusion, the lecturer effectively refutes each of the proposed solutions in the reading passage by highlighting their shortcomings and providing alternative explanations for why they would not be effective in preventing bird injuries.

5. 语法批改

In the passage,the, the(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) author cites three solutions for businesses to prohibit birds from being hurt by the glass of (Two consecutive spaces)buildings and provides supporting evidence to validate each solution. However, the lecturer in the listening material points out problems in each solution and thinks all the solution can not stop birds from flying onto glass.

First and foremost,the, the(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) author proposes the first solution that one-way glass can be implemented to adressaddress(misspelling) this issuesissues,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) since birds will not intend to fly through the glass without seeing in it. Nonetheless, the lecturer (Two consecutive spaces)presents the contradictory viewpoint that birds will still fly into the one-way glass.Due Due(Missing space between sentences) to the fact that this kind of (Two consecutive spaces)glass will still reflect sunlightssunlight(misspelling) like mirrosmirror(misspelling),birds, birds(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) may recogonizerecognize(misspelling) the glass as sky still and then try to fly through it.

Furthermore, the authors' another solution that including colorful designs on glass might serve the purpose is also conteractedcontracted(misspelling) by the lecturer,who, who(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) hilightshi lights(misspelling) that birds are likely to perceive the colofulcolorful(misspelling) patterns as open holes, thus flying through it and getting wounded.Additionally Additionally(Missing space between sentences), if we render the holes extremely smalltiny(Extreme adjectives) to prevent this, the dark environment for people inside the building will be what we should take into account.

Finally, the lecturer raises skepctismskepticism(misspelling) about the lecturer's third solution that by equipping buildings with electomagnetselectromagnets(misspelling),devices, devices(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) that capable of emitting magnetic signals,this, this(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) problem can be solved, demonstrating this method can hardly take effect as it is only when traveling for long distance that the birds will rely on the magnetic field to distinguish directions.While While(Missing space between sentences) flying for short distance,like, like(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) flying from one side of the city to another, the birds still rely on the theirthe(article + possessive form) eyes and sunlightssunlight(misspelling).

Section Title: 6.文章修订

In the passage, the author presents three solutions for businesses to prevent birds from being injured by glass on buildings and provides supporting evidence for each solution. However, the lecturer in the listening material points out problems with each solution and argues that none of them can effectively stop birds from colliding with glass.

First and foremost, the author proposes using one-way glass as a solution, as birds will not attempt to fly through it if they cannot see inside. Nonetheless, the lecturer presents a contradictory viewpoint, stating that birds will still collide with one-way glass due to its reflective properties. As this type of glass reflects sunlight like mirrors, birds may still perceive it as open sky and attempt to fly through it.

Furthermore, the author's suggestion of including colorful designs on glass is also countered by the lecturer, who highlights that birds are likely to perceive these patterns as open holes and consequently attempt to fly through them, resulting in injury. Additionally, if we were to make these unpainted spaces extremely small to prevent this issue, it would create a dark environment for people inside the building which is undesirable.

Finally, the lecturer raises skepticism about the author's third solution involving equipping buildings with electromagnets capable of emitting magnetic signals to guide birds away. The lecturer demonstrates that this method is unlikely to be effective since birds only rely on Earth's magnetic field for navigation during long-distance travel. When flying short distances such as traversing a city, birds primarily rely on their eyesight and sunlight for guidance rather than magnetic fields. (266 words)

In the passage,the passage, the author cites presents three solutions for businesses to prohibit prevent birds from being hurt injured by the glass of glass on buildings and provides supporting evidence to validate for each solution. solution (Changed "prohibit" to "prevent" and "hurt" to "injured" for more appropriate word choice). However, the lecturer in the listening material points out problems in with each solution and thinks argues that none of them can effectively stop birds from colliding with glass (Rephrased "thinks all the solution can not stop birds from flying onto glass. glass" for clarity).

First and foremost,the foremost, the author proposes the first solution that using one-way glass can be implemented to adress this issues since as a solution, as birds will not intend attempt to fly through the glass without seeing in it. it if they cannot see inside (Rephrased for clarity). Nonetheless, the lecturer lecturer presents the a contradictory viewpoint viewpoint, stating that birds will still fly into the collide with one-way glass.Due to the fact that glass due to its reflective properties (Improved sentence structure). As this kind of glass will type of glass reflects sunlight like mirrors, birds may still reflect sunlights like mirros,birds may recogonize the glass as perceive it as open sky still and then try and attempt to fly through it. it (Revised for clarity).

Furthermore, the authors' another solution that author's suggestion of including colorful designs on glass might serve the purpose is also conteracted countered by the lecturer,who hilights lecturer, who highlights that birds are likely to perceive the coloful these patterns as open holes, thus flying holes and consequently attempt to fly through it and getting wounded.Additionally, them, resulting in injury (Improved sentence structure). Additionally, if we render the holes were to make these unpainted spaces extremely small to prevent this, the this issue, it would create a dark environment for people inside the building will be what we should take into account. which is undesirable (Clarified meaning).

Finally, the lecturer raises skepctism skepticism about the lecturer's author's third solution that by involving equipping buildings with electomagnets,devices that electromagnets capable of emitting magnetic signals,this problem can be solved, demonstrating signals to guide birds away (Improved sentence structure). The lecturer demonstrates that this method can hardly take effect as it is unlikely to be effective since birds only when traveling for long distance that the birds will rely on the Earth's magnetic field to distinguish directions.While for navigation during long-distance travel. When flying for short distance,like flying from one side of the city to another, the birds still distances such as traversing a city, birds primarily rely on the their eyes and sunlights.eyesight and sunlight for guidance rather than magnetic fields (Clarified meaning and improved sentence structure).

8. Mind Map

• Introduction

  • Essay structure
  • Lecture points

• One-way glass

  • Author's solution
  • Lecturer's counterargument
    • Reflective properties
    • Birds still collide

• Colorful designs on glass

  • Author's solution
  • Lecturer's counterargument
    • Birds perceive patterns as open holes
    • Dark environment for people inside the building

• Electromagnets emitting magnetic signals

  • Author's solution
  • Lecturer's counterargument
    • Birds only rely on Earth's magnetic field for long-distance travel
    • Eyesight and sunlight for short distances

9. Keywords