TOEFL TPO 16 Speaking Task 4 Sample: Using points and examples from the talk, explain internal and external locus of control.

1.Sub Scores

• Delivery: 3

• Language Use: 3

• Topic Development: 3

2.Estimated Scores

• Total Score: 23

3.Delivery The speaker's delivery is generally clear and fluid, with a consistent pace and only occasional pauses. However, there are some areas for improvement. The speaker should work on reducing unnecessary pauses and ensuring that their pronunciation is accurate to avoid spelling errors. Additionally, the speaker should focus on maintaining a natural tone throughout the response.

4.Topic Development The speaker provides a coherent and well-organized response, with clear connections between ideas and sufficient support or examples. However, there is room for improvement in terms of topic development. The speaker could provide more detailed explanations of internal and external locus of control, as well as additional examples to further illustrate the concepts. Additionally, the speaker should work on refining their language use to ensure that their response is concise and easy to understand.

5.Language Use

Original Answer: The professor explains the concept of locus of control using example of a person who is attending a job interview. Firstly, he talks about internal locus of control, these are people who believe that they are responsible for their actions, they believe in themselves. Here the person who is attending the interview believes that the success and preparation of the interview is based on the efforts that he has undertaken. If he gets the job, he will be happy and if he does not get the job, he will be disappointed and trying to improve himself. Now, secondly the professor talks about the external locus of control, here if a person who is attending the interview, he believes that the interviewer has the most influence and the result depends upon his mood and largely luck. So, these people are more likely to take risk and they blame luck if the results do not go their way and if they get selected, they think they got lucky.

Corrected Answer: The professor explains the a concept of locus of control using example an example (use 'an' before a noun starting with a vowel sound) of a person who is attending a job interview. Firstly, he talks about internal locus of control; these are people who believe that they are responsible for their actions, (add comma to separate independent clauses) they believe in themselves. Here, (add comma for clarity) the person who is attending the interview believes that the success and preparation of the interview is based on the efforts that he has undertaken. If he gets the job, he will be happy; (use semicolon to separate related independent clauses) if he does not get the job, he will be disappointed and trying try (use 'try' to match verb tense) to improve himself. Now, secondly, (add comma for clarity) the professor talks about the external locus of control; here, (add comma for clarity) if a person who is attending the interview believes that the interviewer has the most influence and the result depends upon his mood and largely luck. So, these people are more likely to take risk risks (use plural form for consistency) and they blame luck if the results do not go their way; (use semicolon to separate related independent clauses) if they get selected, they think they got lucky.

Revised Answer (140 words): The professor explains a concept called locus of control using an example of a person attending a job interview. He first discusses internal locus of control, where individuals believe they are responsible for their actions and outcomes. In this case, the interviewee believes their success and preparation depend on their own efforts. If they get the job, they feel accomplished; if not, they feel disappointed and try to improve. Secondly, the professor addresses external locus of control, where people think external factors, such as the interviewer's mood or luck, determine outcomes. These individuals are more likely to take risks and attribute results to external forces. If they succeed, they consider themselves lucky; if they fail, they blame external factors rather than seeking self-improvement.

6.Mind Map

• Locus of Control
  • Internal Locus of Control
    • Responsibility for actions
    • Belief in self
    • Success and preparation
    • Reaction to outcomes (happy/disappointed)
  • External Locus of Control
    • External factors (interviewer's mood, luck)
    • Risk-taking behavior
    • Attribution of results (lucky/unlucky)

7.Key Words