TOEFL TPO -1 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: This week, we will be discussing retail sales.One popular modelof retailis“superstores”--very large stores, typically owned by corporations-that sell many kinds of different products. We will compare this business model to local retailers typically small or specialized stores with local owners,such as a camera shop or a small neighborhood grocery store. Do you think it is more beneficial for people to shop at small loca stores rather than at superstores? Why ？

1. 子项得分

• Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.0

• Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 3.5

• Language Use and Grammar: 3.0

2. 预估分数

22. 3 任务完成度

从任务完成度的角度来看，这篇文章基本上回答了问题，但还有一些可以改进的地方。首先，文章应该更具体地讨论超市和小商店之间的优缺点。其次，可以加入更多相关的例子来支持观点。最后，尽量避免使用重复的词汇和表达。

示例1：在讨论超市的优点时，可以提到“超市通常提供更多种类的商品选择，这使得消费者能够一站式购物。” 示例2：在讨论小商店的优点时，可以提到“小商店往往能够为顾客提供更加个性化和贴心的服务。”

4. 文章结构与组织

从文章结构与组织方面来看，这篇文章有明确的结构，包括引言、正文和结论。然而，在逻辑组织方面还有待改进。每段落应该集中讨论一个具体观点，并提供支持细节。此外，在段落之间需要加入清晰的过渡。

建议1：在正文部分明确区分超市和小商店的优缺点，使文章结构更加清晰。 建议2：在段落之间使用过渡词，如“然而”、“此外”等，以帮助读者更好地理解文章的逻辑关系。

示例1：在讨论超市的优点之后，可以使用过渡词“然而”，引入小商店的优点：“然而，尽管超市有诸多优势，小商店也有其独特之处。” 示例2：在讨论小商店的优点之后，可以使用过渡词“此外”，补充其他相关观点：“此外，在购物体验方面，小商店往往能够为顾客提供更加亲切和舒适的环境。”

5. 语法批改

I firmly hold the idea that it is more beneficalbeneficial(misspelling) for customers to shop at superstores, as they have more strict seclectionselection(misspelling) for goods. To be more specific, because of the size of superstores, they may have some stable suppliers, which have some guarantees of products quanlitiesqualities(misspelling). However, in the smalllocalsmall local(misspelling) stores, much of them does not have choices of suppliers. Under this condition, it is hard for them to provide something better after seclectionsselections(misspelling). For instance, vegetables in the superstores is one of my favouritefavorite(misspelling), although the smalllocalsmall local(misspelling) stores in my community provides some lower prize vegetable, the vegetables provided in the superstores have better quanitiesqualities(misspelling), which means is a healthier choice for me. Granted, Kelly's points make sense to some extent. smallSmall(Checks that a sentence starts with an uppercase letter) stores do offer some warm services that superstores seldom offer, while shoppin gshopping(misspelling) in the superstores have some different experience. Big and wide space in the superstores enable customers to communicate with each other and across easily.

Section Title: The Advantages of Superstores over Small Local Stores

In my opinion, shopping at superstores offers greater benefits to customers due to their stringent selection of products and overall shopping experience. Superstores typically have established relationships with reliable suppliers, ensuring the quality of the products they offer. In contrast, small local stores may have limited supplier options, making it challenging for them to provide better quality goods. For example, I prefer purchasing vegetables from superstores because they consistently offer higher quality produce compared to the lower-priced options available at local stores in my community. While it is true that small stores may provide more personalized services that are lacking in superstores, the shopping experience at larger establishments is unique and advantageous in its own right. The spacious layout of superstores encourages customer interaction and facilitates easy navigation through various sections, enhancing the overall retail experience for consumers. (148 words)

I firmly hold the idea that it is more benefical (beneficial) for customers to shop at superstores, as they have more strict (stringent) seclection (selection) for goods. To be more specific, because of the size of superstores, they may have some stable suppliers, which have some guarantees of products quanlities. quanlities (qualities). However, in the smalllocal (small local) stores, much of them (many of them) does not have choices of suppliers. Under this condition, it is hard for them to provide something better after seclections. seclections (selections). For instance, vegetables in the superstores is one of my favourite, although the smalllocal (small local) stores in my community provides some lower prize (lower-priced) vegetable, the vegetables provided in the superstores have better quanities, quanities (qualities), which means is a healthier choice for me. Granted, Kelly's points make sense to some extent. small stores do offer some warm services that superstores seldom offer, while shoppin g (shopping) in the superstores have some different experience. Big and wide space in the superstores enable customers to communicate with each other and across easily.

8 思维导图

1. 超市与小商店的对比
   1.1 产品质量
       1.1.1 超市
           1.1.1.1 可靠供应商
           1.1.1.2 高质量产品
       1.1.2 小商店
           1.1.2.1 有限供应商选择
           1.1.2.2 较低质量产品
   2 大型超市的优势
       2.1 独特购物体验
           2.1.3 宽敞布局
           2.2 容易导航和客户互动

9 关键词