TOEFL TPO -1 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: One advertising strategy that companies often use is to ask celebrities, famous entertainers, or sports figures to promote their products. However, some experts believe that it is more effective to have ordinary people talk about the product. Which of these two advertising strategies do you think is better?

1. 子项得分

Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5 Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0 Language Use and Grammar: 3.5

2. 预估分数

25. 3 任务完成度

从任务完成度的角度来看，这篇文章基本上回答了问题，阐述了选择普通人作为广告代言人的优势。但是，文章可以在以下方面进行改进：首先，在讨论名人代言的弊端时，可以提供更具体的例子和数据支持。其次，可以在文章中提到一些反驳观点，以增强说服力。

改进建议示例（英文）：

1. Instead of just mentioning that celebrities may only advertise for money, provide a specific example of a celebrity endorsing a product that was later found to be low quality or harmful.

2. Acknowledge the benefits of using celebrities in advertising, such as their ability to attract attention, but argue that the advantages of using ordinary people outweigh these benefits.

4. 文章结构与组织

从文章结构和组织的角度来看，这篇文章有明确的结构，包括引言、正文和结论。然而，在以下方面仍有改进空间：首先，正文部分可以分成两个段落，一个段落讨论普通人作为广告代言人的优势，另一个段落讨论名人代言的弊端。其次，在段落之间加入过渡句，使文章更加连贯。

改进建议示例（英文）：

1. Divide the body of the essay into two paragraphs, with one paragraph discussing the advantages of using ordinary people in advertising and another paragraph discussing the disadvantages of using celebrities.

2. Add transition sentences between paragraphs, such as "While celebrities can indeed attract attention, there are several reasons why using ordinary people in advertisements is more effective."

5. 语法批改

RegradingRegarding this question, I align with Paul's perspective that inviting ordinary people to show theshowcase products can present viewers with true things.a more accurate representation. People will have a better image on whatunderstanding of how they will look like if they wearwhile wearing this cloth,clothing, since the models may have the samesimilar body shape withshapes to them. If the celebrities showshowcase the products in the advertisement,advertisements, potential consumers may believe that they just advertiseare only endorsing the company for companies who give thema large amountsum of money, instead of advertising forrather than endorsing truly comfortable and useful products. Furthermore, inviting celebrities to act in the advertisement will cost lotsa significant amount of moneymoney, while may not have a good effect on viewers. It is well-known that a famous movie star will ask for thousands of dollars to participate in an advertisementadvertisement, while inviting ordinary people is more cost-effective. Moreover, since famous celebrities have excellent appearance,appearances, their shape may put extra pressure on potential consumersconsumers, as people may worry about ifwhether they can look nice as the models. Consequently, I firmly maintain that inviting ordinary people not only save money,saves money but also gain consumersgains consumers' trust.

Section Title: 6 Article Revision

In response to the question, I concur with Paul's viewpoint that incorporating ordinary people in advertisements can provide a more authentic representation of the product. This approach allows potential consumers to better visualize themselves using the product, as they may share similar body shapes or lifestyles with the featured individuals. Utilizing celebrities in advertisements may lead some viewers to assume that these famous figures are merely promoting products for financial gain, rather than genuinely endorsing their quality and usefulness.

Additionally, enlisting celebrities for promotional purposes can be exorbitantly expensive and may not yield the desired impact on viewers. It is common knowledge that renowned actors or sports figures often demand substantial fees for their participation in advertising campaigns, whereas featuring ordinary people is a more cost-effective alternative. Furthermore, the flawless appearance of celebrities could potentially discourage potential consumers who might feel insecure about whether they can achieve a similar look while using the product.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that opting for ordinary people in advertisements not only saves money but also fosters trust among consumers. (181 words)

Regrading this question, In response to the question (clarifying the context), I align concur with Paul's perspective that inviting viewpoint that incorporating ordinary people to show the products in advertisements can present viewers with true things. People will have a better image on what they will look like if they wear this cloth, since the models may have the same body shape with them. If the celebrities show the products in the advertisement, provide a more authentic representation of the product (rephrasing for clarity and natural tone). This approach allows potential consumers to better visualize themselves using the product, as they may believe that they just advertise for companies who give them large amount of money, instead of advertising for truly comfortable and useful products. Furthermore, inviting share similar body shapes or lifestyles with the featured individuals (clarifying the benefits). Utilizing celebrities in advertisements may lead some viewers to act in the advertisement will cost lots of money while assume that these famous figures are merely promoting products for financial gain, rather than genuinely endorsing their quality and usefulness (explaining potential drawbacks).

Additionally, enlisting celebrities for promotional purposes can be exorbitantly expensive and may not have a good effect yield the desired impact on viewers. viewers (introducing a new point). It is well-known that a famous movie star will ask for thousands of dollars to participate in an advertisement while inviting common knowledge that renowned actors or sports figures often demand substantial fees for their participation in advertising campaigns, whereas featuring ordinary people is a more cost-effective. Moreover, since famous cost-effective alternative (providing evidence). Furthermore, the flawless appearance of celebrities have excellent appearance, their shape may put extra pressure on could potentially discourage potential consumers as people may worry who might feel insecure about if whether they can achieve a similar look nice as the models. Consequently, while using the product (explaining another drawback).

In conclusion, I firmly maintain that inviting believe that opting for ordinary people in advertisements not only save money, saves money but also gain fosters trust among consumers trust.(summarizing main points and providing a strong closing statement).

Title: 8 思维导图

1. Introduction

   • Authentic representation
   • Visualize themselves using the product

2. Celebrities in advertisements

   • Financial gain motivation
   • Expensive fees

3. Ordinary people in advertisements

   • Cost-effective alternative
   • Relatable body shapes and lifestyles

4. Flawless appearance of celebrities

   • Discourage potential consumers
   • Insecurity about achieving similar look

5. Trust among consumers

6. Conclusion

Title: 9 关键词