TOEFL TPO -1 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: whether to communicate in writing or by speaking in the workplace

1. 子项得分

• Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.0

• Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 3.5

• Language Use and Grammar: 3.5

2. 预估分数

22. 3 任务完成度

这篇文章在完成任务方面做得不错，但仍有改进的空间。首先，你需要更详细地阐述你的观点，例如提供更多关于口头沟通在工作场所的优势的例子。其次，在语法和词汇方面，你需要注意一些错误并尝试使用更丰富的词汇和句型。

改进示例1（英文）： Instead of "Speaking in the workplace enables people to work more efficiently without any doubt.", you could write "Oral communication in the workplace significantly enhances work efficiency, as it allows for immediate feedback and clarification of ideas."

改进示例2（英文）： Instead of "And when she speaks to customers, she is able to listen if someone is satisfied with her work,She can reply to others better.", you could write "When engaging with customers verbally, she can gauge their satisfaction levels more accurately and respond more effectively to their concerns."

4. 文章结构与组织

从组织结构上看，这篇文章基本上具备了清晰的结构，包括引言、正文和结论。然而，在段落之间缺乏明确的过渡和联系。为了提高文章的连贯性，请在段落之间添加过渡句，并确保每个段落都有明确的主题句。

改进示例1（英文）： Add a transition sentence between the introduction and the first body paragraph: "There are several reasons why speaking is more advantageous in the workplace, one of which is its impact on work efficiency."

改进示例2（英文）： Add a topic sentence to the second body paragraph: "Another benefit of verbal communication in the workplace is its ability to address issues promptly and effectively."

5. 语法批改

The issue regarding whether to communicate in writing or by speaking in the workplace has provoked heated debate.From From(Missing space between sentences) my perspective ,, (Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses)it is better for people to speaking in the workplace.

Speaking in the workplace enables people to work more efficientlyefficiently,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) without any doubt.To To(Missing space between sentences) be more specific, when speaking in the workplace that is face-to-face or on the phone, people can convey information through emotions and better express their ideas, so that the other people can quickly understand and improve work efficiency. What’s more, speaking in the workplace are able to solve problems in time. For example, My sister doesn't like to send messages in the workplace, because texting can't solve problems in time, and she always has to wait for colleagues to reply to her messages before she can move on to the next job. And when she speaks to customers, she is able to listen if someone is satisfied with her work,She, She(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) can reply to others better.

To conclude, never should we ignore the importance of speaking in the workplace.

Title: 6 文章修订

The debate over whether to communicate in writing or by speaking in the workplace has generated significant discussion. In my opinion, verbal communication is more advantageous for workplace interactions.

Undoubtedly, speaking in the workplace allows for increased efficiency. Specifically, face-to-face or phone conversations enable individuals to convey information through emotions and effectively express their ideas, leading to a quicker understanding and improved work efficiency. Furthermore, verbal communication facilitates timely problem-solving. For instance, my sister prefers not to send messages at work because texting does not allow for immediate resolution of issues; she often has to wait for colleagues' responses before proceeding with her tasks. When she speaks directly with customers, she can gauge their satisfaction with her work and respond more effectively.

In essence, the importance of verbal communication in the workplace should not be underestimated. By fostering a more efficient and responsive environment, it contributes significantly to overall productivity and collaboration among colleagues. (157 words)

The issue regarding debate over whether to communicate in writing or by speaking in the workplace has provoked heated debate.From generated significant discussion (reason: rephrased for clarity and natural tone). In my perspective ,it opinion, verbal communication is better for people to more advantageous for workplace interactions (reason: revised for clarity and conciseness).

Undoubtedly, speaking in the workplace. ¶ Speaking in the workplace enables people to work more efficiently without any doubt.To be more specific, when speaking in the workplace that is workplace allows for increased efficiency (reason: revised for clarity and conciseness). Specifically, face-to-face or on the phone, people can phone conversations enable individuals to convey information through emotions and better effectively express their ideas, so that the other people can quickly understand and improve ideas (reason: revised for clarity), leading to a quicker understanding and improved work efficiency. What’s more, speaking in the workplace are able to solve problems in time. Furthermore, verbal communication facilitates timely problem-solving (reason: rephrased for natural tone). For example, My instance, my sister doesn't like prefers not to send messages in the workplace, at work because texting can't solve problems in time, and does not allow for immediate resolution of issues; she always often has to wait for colleagues to reply to colleagues' responses before proceeding with her messages before tasks (reason: revised for clarity and conciseness). When she speaks directly with customers, she can move on to the next job. And when she speaks to customers, she is able to listen if someone is satisfied gauge their satisfaction with her work,She can reply to others better. work and respond more effectively.

To conclude, never should we ignore In essence, the importance of speaking in the workplace.verbal communication in the workplace should not be underestimated (reason: rephrased for natural tone). By fostering a more efficient and responsive environment, it contributes significantly to overall productivity and collaboration among colleagues.

Title: 8 思维导图

1. Introduction
   - Debate: writing vs speaking in the workplace
   - Opinion: verbal communication is more advantageous

2. Increased efficiency
   - Face-to-face or phone conversations
   - Convey information through emotions
   - Quicker understanding and improved work efficiency

3. Timely problem-solving
   - Example: sister's preference for speaking over texting
   - Immediate resolution of issues
   - Gauging customer satisfaction and responding effectively

4. Conclusion
   - Importance of verbal communication in the workplace
   - Fosters a more efficient and responsive environment

Title: 9 关键词