TOEFL TPO -1 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Next week, we're going to spend a lot of time in class discussing the positive and negative ways in which companies affect the world around us. Before we start talking about that in class, I want to hear what you think about the topic.

1. 子项得分

• Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 2.5

• Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 2.0

• Language Use and Grammar: 2.0

2. 预估分数

16. 3 任务完成度

你的文章没有完全回答问题，也没有对Sarah和John的观点进行讨论。为了提高你的写作水平，请确保你理解并回答了问题。同时，需要使用更多的例子和细节来支持你的观点。此外，尽量避免语法错误和用词不当。

示例1（英文）： Instead of discussing the importance of setting a suitable price, you could have written: "I agree with Sarah that companies should focus on making their operations more socially and environmentally friendly. For example, by reducing waste and pollution, companies can contribute to a cleaner environment."

示例2（英文）： You could also discuss John's viewpoint: "On the other hand, John believes that companies should focus on charitable giving. While this approach can provide immediate relief to those in need, it may not address the root causes of social and environmental problems."

4. 文章结构与组织

文章结构不够清晰，缺乏引言、主体和结论。建议按照逻辑顺序组织文章，并确保每个段落都集中讨论一个特定的观点及其支持细节。同时，需要在段落之间加入明确的过渡。

示例1（英文）： A better introduction could be: "In this essay, I will discuss the viewpoints of Sarah and John regarding the best way for a company to have a positive impact on society, and provide my own opinion on the matter."

示例2（英文）： For a clearer transition between ideas, you could write: "While Sarah's viewpoint focuses on long-term solutions through responsible business practices, John's perspective emphasizes the immediate benefits of philanthropy. In my opinion, both approaches have their merits and should be considered by companies."

5. 语法批改

In my point of views, I think the setting a suitable price is the best ways for a company to have a positive impact on society. As we all know, in our society, there are less rich people, however, middle level people concur the big proportions in the society. But even of this, there are also many companies produced the necessary products but selling it with higher price. Due to thisthese('this' vs. 'these') situations, a lots peoplea lots of people(Collocation: lot (of)) startsstart(people + 3rd person verb) to complain about those companies who set the price irrational that the consumers cannot effortafford(effort vs afford) and accept. If those companies can set the price regularly, more and more people can buy it without finance pressure, this behavior may calledcall(Non-infinitive verb after modal verbs) a positive impact on society. Therefore, only a small adjustment for companies can help a large people in one society. (Whitespace repetition (bad formatting))

Section Title: 6 Article Revision

In my perspective, establishing an appropriate pricing strategy is the most effective way for a company to positively influence society. It is widely acknowledged that the majority of the population belongs to the middle class, while only a small percentage are affluent. Despite this demographic reality, numerous companies continue to produce essential goods at exorbitant prices. Consequently, many individuals express dissatisfaction with these organizations for implementing unaffordable and unreasonable pricing structures. By adopting fair and accessible pricing policies, companies can alleviate financial burdens on consumers and contribute positively to society. Thus, even minor adjustments in corporate practices can significantly benefit a vast number of people within a community. (113 words)

In my point of views, I think the setting a suitable price perspective (revised for clarity and formality), establishing an appropriate pricing strategy (rephrased for precision) is the best ways most effective way for a company to have a positive impact on positively influence society. As we all know, in our society, there are less rich people, however, middle level people concur the big proportions in the society. But even of this, there are also many companies produced the necessary products but selling it with higher price. Due to this situations, a lots people starts to complain about those companies who set the price irrational It is widely acknowledged (more formal expression) that the consumers cannot effort and accept. If those companies can set majority of the price regularly, more and more people can buy it without finance pressure, this behavior may called a positive impact on society. Therefore, population belongs to the middle class, while only a small adjustment percentage are affluent (clarified meaning). Despite this demographic reality, numerous companies continue to produce essential goods at exorbitant prices (rephrased for clarity). Consequently, many individuals express dissatisfaction with these organizations for implementing unaffordable and unreasonable pricing structures (revised for coherence). By adopting fair and accessible pricing policies, companies can help alleviate financial burdens on consumers and contribute positively to society (rephrased for clarity). Thus, even minor adjustments in corporate practices can significantly benefit a large vast number of people in one society.within a community (concise conclusion).

Display title: 8 思维导图

1. Introduction
   - Pricing strategy
   - Influence on society

2. Demographics
   - Majority: middle class
   - Minority: affluent

3. Current situation
   - Essential goods
   - Exorbitant prices

4. Public dissatisfaction
   - Unaffordable pricing structures
   - Unreasonable pricing policies

5. Solution: fair and accessible pricing
   - Alleviate financial burdens
   - Contribute positively to society

6. Impact of minor adjustments
   - Significant benefits for the community

7. Conclusion

Display title: 9 关键词