TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 1 Sample: Summarze the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they challenge the specific arquments presented in the readincpassage.

1.子项得分 Task fulfillment: 4 Organization: 3 Coherence and Cohesion: 3 Language Use: 3

2.预估分数

22. 3.任务完成度

整体来说，文章回答了题目要求的问题，但在某些方面还有待改进。首先，在论述听力观点时，应更详细地解释听力中提到的关键信息。此外，在对比阅读和听力观点时，尽量避免重复使用相同的词汇和表达。

示例1： 原文：However, the lecture points out that the dangerous cardiac complications will happen in people who already have heart problems. 改进：However, the lecture emphasizes that most of the dangerous cardiac complications occur in individuals who either already have undiagnosed heart issues or do not exercise regularly.

示例2： 原文：What’s more, it is no doubt that the high pressure of the joints will protect the joints because if the joints can adapt the high pressure of the waves, they are actually become stronger to adapt another things. 改进：Moreover, it is undeniable that this increased pressure on the joints actually strengthens them by forcing them to adapt to higher levels of stress, ultimately making them more resilient.

4.文章结构与组织 文章的结构和组织方面需要加强。首先，应在开头部分明确指出文章将讨论哪些方面的观点。其次，在每个段落中，使用恰当的过渡词或短语来引导读者理解段落之间的关系。最后，尝试使用不同的句式和表达方式，使文章更具有连贯性和流畅性。

示例1： 原文：Both the passage and the lecture are talking about whether jogging is a good choice for exercise. 改进：The passage and the lecture discuss the advantages and disadvantages of jogging as a form of exercise, presenting contrasting viewpoints on its safety and effectiveness.

示例2： 原文：If people choose walk instead of jogging, they can achieve the same results. 改进：The passage suggests that walking, as a safer alternative to jogging, can yield similar health benefits without the associated risks.

5. 语法批改

Both the passage and the lecture are talking about whether jogging is a good choice for exercise. The reading believes that jogging may not be medically safe, Whilewhile(Checks wrong uppercase spelling of words that are not proper nouns) in the lecture, the professor states that jogging is the best form of the exercise for people to do. Firstly, the reading contends that the amount of strain of jogging will cause the heart problems, because sudden changes of the heart will cause dangerous cardiac complications. However, the lecture points out that the dangerous cardiac complications will happen in people who already have heart problems. If people who have heart problems get the permission of the doctor, they can keep jogging consistently. If people don’t have heart problems before, they can jog consistently without concerning the sudden strain to the heart. Secondly, the passage holds that jogging will increase the strain of the joints, which is harmful to people’s joints because it will lead to injuries to the joints. Nevertheless, the speaker argues that the shock waves are actually good things. Not only can they lead to the joints work harder,but, but(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) also they help joints support the long pressure. What’s more, it is no doubt that the high pressure of the joints will protect the joints because if the joints can adapt the high pressure of the waves, they are actually become stronger to adapt another things. Thirdly, the reading says that there are equally effective but safer exercise alternatives. If people choose walk instead of jogging, they can achieve the same results. Conversely, the listening refutes that modern people are very busy. They don’t have enough time to do exercise every day. Almost every people will spentspend(Non-infinitive verb after modal verbs) 30 minutes in doing exercise. In this situation, it is more effective for them to jog instead of walking because people can move longer distance and cost more calories by jogging. So, if people just have limited time to exercise, the people who chose to jog will become more healthierhealthier(No 'more' or 'most' before comparatives) than people who chose to walk.

Section Title: 6.文章修订

The passage and the lecture discuss the benefits and drawbacks of jogging as a form of exercise. The reading argues that jogging may not be medically safe, while the lecture contends that it is an excellent choice for physical activity.

Firstly, the passage asserts that jogging places significant strain on the heart, potentially leading to dangerous cardiac complications. In contrast, the lecture explains that such complications typically occur in individuals who already have heart problems or do not exercise regularly. The professor emphasizes the importance of obtaining a doctor's approval before starting a jogging program and maintaining consistency in exercising to avoid sudden strain on the heart.

Secondly, the passage claims that jogging increases strain on joints, which could result in joint injuries. However, the lecture disputes this by stating that weight-bearing impact on joints is beneficial as it forces surrounding muscles to work harder. This strengthens these supporting muscles, ultimately taking pressure off joints and protecting them in the long run.

Lastly, the reading suggests that walking is an equally effective but safer alternative to jogging for burning calories and losing weight. On the other hand, the lecture counters this by pointing out that people nowadays have limited time for exercise. Given only 30 minutes per day for physical activity, jogging proves more efficient than walking as it covers longer distances and burns more calories within the same timeframe. Consequently, from a public health perspective, encouraging people to spend their limited exercise time jogging rather than walking would result in a fitter and healthier population overall. (260 words)

Both the The passage and the lecture are talking about whether jogging is a good choice for discuss the benefits and drawbacks of jogging as a form of exercise. The reading believes argues that jogging may not be medically safe, While in the lecture, the professor states that jogging while the lecture contends that it is the best form of the exercise for people to do. an excellent choice for physical activity (Changed "best form" to "excellent choice" to avoid exaggeration).

Firstly, the reading contends that the amount of passage asserts that jogging places significant strain of jogging will cause the heart problems, because sudden changes of the heart will cause on the heart, potentially leading to dangerous cardiac complications. However, the lecture points out that the dangerous cardiac In contrast, the lecture explains that such complications will happen in people typically occur in individuals who already have heart problems. If people who have heart problems get the permission or do not exercise regularly (Clarified context). The professor emphasizes the importance of the doctor, they can keep jogging consistently. If people don’t have heart problems before, they can jog consistently without concerning the obtaining a doctor's approval before starting a jogging program and maintaining consistency in exercising to avoid sudden strain to the heart. on the heart (Added details for clarity).

Secondly, the passage holds that jogging will increase the claims that jogging increases strain of the on joints, which could result in joint injuries. However, the lecture disputes this by stating that weight-bearing impact on joints is harmful to people’s beneficial as it forces surrounding muscles to work harder (Simplified sentence structure). This strengthens these supporting muscles, ultimately taking pressure off joints because it will lead to injuries to the joints. Nevertheless, the speaker argues that the shock waves are actually good things. Not only can they lead to the joints work harder,but also they help joints support and protecting them in the long pressure. What’s more, it run (Improved clarity).

Lastly, the reading suggests that walking is no doubt that the high pressure of the joints will protect the joints because if the joints can adapt the high pressure of the waves, they are actually become stronger to adapt another things. ¶ Thirdly, the reading says that there are an equally effective but safer exercise alternatives. If alternative to jogging for burning calories and losing weight. On the other hand, the lecture counters this by pointing out that people choose walk instead of jogging, they can achieve the same results. Conversely, the listening refutes that modern people are very busy. They don’t have enough time to do exercise every day. Almost every people will spent 30 minutes in doing exercise. In this situation, it is more effective for them to jog instead of walking because people can move longer distance and cost more calories by jogging. So, if people just nowadays have limited time to exercise, the for exercise (Added transition). Given only 30 minutes per day for physical activity, jogging proves more efficient than walking as it covers longer distances and burns more calories within the same timeframe (Clarified comparison). Consequently, from a public health perspective, encouraging people who chose to jog will become more to spend their limited exercise time jogging rather than walking would result in a fitter and healthier than people who chose to walk.population overall (Summarized main point).

8. Mind Map

• Introduction

  • Benefits and drawbacks of jogging
  • Passage vs. Lecture viewpoints

• Point 1: Cardiac Complications

  • Passage: Strain on the heart
  • Lecture: Importance of doctor's approval and consistency

• Point 2: Joint Injuries

  • Passage: Increased strain on joints
  • Lecture: Strengthening supporting muscles, protecting joints

• Point 3: Walking as an Alternative

  • Passage: Equally effective, safer for burning calories and losing weight
  • Lecture: Jogging more efficient in limited time, public health perspective

9. Keywords