TOEFL TPO 51 Writing Task 1 Sample: Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they challenge the specific points made in the reading passage.

1.子项得分 任务完成度: 4 组织: 4 连贯与衔接: 4 语言使用: 3

2.预估分数

25. 3.任务完成度

整体来说，你的文章较好地完成了任务要求，阐述了听力材料中的观点并对阅读材料中的观点进行了反驳。然而，你在论述过程中有时会出现表达不够准确或者不够清晰的情况。建议你在写作时更加注意用词的准确性和句子结构的清晰度。

例1： 原文：The elephants are not fearful with mice themselves, but unfamiliar animals. 修改：The elephants are not fearful of mice themselves, but rather of unfamiliar animals.

例2： 原文：They will be encouraged to do the trick by touching their ears and make them to remember the paint brush stroke. 修改：They will be encouraged to perform the trick by touching their ears, which helps them remember the paintbrush strokes.

4.文章结构与组织 你的文章结构和组织方面做得很好，有明确的引言、主体和结论部分。每个段落都集中讨论一个特定观点并提供支持细节。然而，在段落之间添加一些过渡词或短语可以使文章更加连贯。

建议1（简体中文）： 在段落之间添加过渡词或短语，以使文章更加连贯。

例1： 原文：Firstly, the reading material claims that the elephants are aware of approaching death... However, the listening material contradicts it... 修改：Firstly, the reading material claims that the elephants are aware of approaching death... In contrast, the listening material contradicts this by...

例2： 原文：Secondly, the author suggests that the elephants represent objects through art... On the contrary, the listening material rebuts it... 修改：Secondly, the author suggests that the elephants represent objects through art... Conversely, the listening material rebuts this claim by...

5. 语法批改

The reading and the listening material debate on whether elephants have several beliefs about surprising elephant behaviors. The passage puts forward three possible behaviors, yet the lecture opposes them.

Firstly, the reading material claims that the elephants are aware of approaching death, and there are many sites that containing bones exclusively of elderly elephants. However, the listening material contradicts it by saying that people cannot assume that old elephants are aware of dying just because they break away from their herds. There is a practical reason that the old elephants have teeth which are worn down, making them have to find the soft vegetables that usually near the bodies of water. Eventually, they will die near the river.

Secondly, the author suggests that the elephants represent objects through art, and they have been known to paint drawings. On the contrary, the listening material rebuts it by maintaining that there is issue that the elephants will be trained to stroke by human's touching with their ears, which is sensitive for them. They will be encouraged to do the trick by touching their ears and make them to remember the paint brush stroke. As a consequence, they will not know the flowers and other things and all that is because of the training by human.

Thirdly, the reading material argues that the elephants have a fear of mice even more than a fear of dangerous animals like lions or tigers, while the listening material objects to it by firmly expressing that it is because people misinterpret with their reactions. The elephants are not fearful with mice themselves, but unfamiliar animals. They will be conscious with unfamiliar animals because of their natural instinct. It is also common in the zoo that they are not fearful by mice and even do not mind them.

6.文章修订

The reading and listening materials present opposing views on several surprising elephant behaviors. The passage posits three possible behaviors, while the lecture refutes each of them.

Firstly, the reading material asserts that elephants are aware of their impending death, as evidenced by the discovery of sites containing bones exclusively from elderly elephants. In contrast, the listening material challenges this notion by providing a practical explanation for old elephants leaving their herds. As elephants age, their teeth become worn down, making it difficult for them to chew. Consequently, elderly elephants seek softer vegetation typically found near water sources. This leads to their eventual demise near these bodies of water, in areas referred to as "elephant graveyards."

Secondly, the author contends that elephants possess artistic abilities and can create drawings representing objects such as flowers and other animals. However, the listening material disputes this claim by highlighting that human trainers manipulate an elephant's sensitive ears to teach them specific paintbrush strokes. The trainers use touch cues to encourage the elephant to replicate these strokes on a canvas. As a result, the elephant's ability to create recognizable images is not an innate talent but rather a product of human training.

Lastly, the reading material argues that elephants have an irrational fear of mice surpassing their fear of more dangerous animals like lions or tigers. Conversely, the listening material refutes this belief by clarifying that elephants' reactions are not due to fear of mice themselves but rather unfamiliarity with these small creatures. Elephants exhibit caution towards unfamiliar animals as a natural instinct for self-preservation. In environments where mice are common, such as zoos, elephants do not display fear towards them and may even become indifferent.

By examining both perspectives presented in the reading and listening materials, it becomes evident that popular beliefs about surprising elephant behaviors may be based on misconceptions or misinterpretations rather than factual evidence. (314 words)

7.文章批改

The reading and the listening material debate materials present opposing views on whether elephants have several beliefs about surprising elephant behaviors. The passage puts forward posits three possible behaviors, yet while the lecture opposes refutes each of them. (This sentence has been revised to more accurately reflect the opposing nature of the two sources.)

Firstly, the reading material claims that the asserts that elephants are aware of approaching their impending death, and there are many as evidenced by the discovery of sites that containing bones exclusively of from elderly elephants. However, In contrast, the listening material contradicts it challenges this notion by saying that people cannot assume that providing a practical explanation for old elephants are aware of dying just because they break away from leaving their herds. There is a practical reason that the old elephants have (The phrase "impending death" has been used instead of "approaching death" to add variety in vocabulary.) As elephants age, their teeth which are become worn down, making it difficult for them have to find the soft vegetables that usually to chew. Consequently, elderly elephants seek softer vegetation typically found near the water sources. This leads to their eventual demise near these bodies of water. Eventually, they will die near the river. water, in areas referred to as "elephant graveyards."

Secondly, the author suggests that the elephants represent contends that elephants possess artistic abilities and can create drawings representing objects through art, and they have been known to paint drawings. On the contrary, the listening material rebuts it by maintaining that there is issue that the elephants will be trained to stroke by human's touching with their ears, which is sensitive for them. They will be encouraged to do the trick by touching their ears and make them to remember the paint brush stroke. As a consequence, they will not know the such as flowers and other things and all that animals. However, the listening material disputes this claim by highlighting that human trainers manipulate an elephant's sensitive ears to teach them specific paintbrush strokes. (The word "manipulate" has been used instead of "stroke" to emphasize the control exerted by human trainers.) The trainers use touch cues to encourage the elephant to replicate these strokes on a canvas. As a result, the elephant's ability to create recognizable images is because of the training by human. not an innate talent but rather a product of human training.

Thirdly, Lastly, the reading material argues that the elephants have a an irrational fear of mice even surpassing their fear of more than a fear of dangerous animals like lions or tigers, while tigers. Conversely, the listening material objects to it refutes this belief by firmly expressing that it is because people misinterpret with their reactions. The elephants clarifying that elephants' reactions are not fearful due to fear of mice themselves but rather unfamiliarity with mice themselves, but unfamiliar animals. They will be conscious with these small creatures. (The word "unfamiliarity" has been used instead of "unfamiliar animals" to more accurately convey the concept.) Elephants exhibit caution towards unfamiliar animals because of their as a natural instinct. It is also common in the zoo that they instinct for self-preservation. In environments where mice are not fearful by mice and even common, such as zoos, elephants do not mind them.display fear towards them and may even become indifferent.

By examining both perspectives presented in the reading and listening materials, it becomes evident that popular beliefs about surprising elephant behaviors may be based on misconceptions or misinterpretations rather than factual evidence. (The word "misconceptions" has been added to emphasize the misunderstanding aspect of these beliefs.)

8.思维导图

• Introduction

  • Opposing views
  • Reading vs. Listening

• Point 1: Awareness of impending death

  • Reading: Elephant graveyards
  • Listening: Practical explanation (worn teeth, softer vegetation)

• Point 2: Artistic abilities

  • Reading: Drawings representing objects
  • Listening: Human training (manipulating sensitive ears)

• Point 3: Fear of mice

  • Reading: Irrational fear, more than dangerous animals
  • Listening: Unfamiliarity with small creatures, natural instinct for self-preservation

9.关键词