TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 1 Sample: write

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Death Valley is a desert in the southwestern United Stated. In part of the desert called Racetrack Plava. there is an unusual phenomenon known as the sailing stones. The stones which weigh up to300 kilograms, appear to shift locations occasionally, sometimes moving hundreds of meters over the course of a few months. Geologists have produced three different theories to explain the phenomenon One such explanation is that the stones are pushed by the wind. Scientists have recorded strong winds in the playa, and when it rains. the playa's muddy floor becomes sick and slippery. Under such conditions. Owerful austs of wind could alive the stones considerable push. The reduced friction of muddy ground would then allow the stones to slide long distances Adding to the strenath of this theory is the observation that the stones often travel parallel to the direction of the most common prevailing winds A second possible theory for the stones' movement involves ice formations During the night ground water will occasionally shape and form ice sheets on the ground. The ice sheets can trap stones within them. Ice sheets that form on sloping ground can start sliding slowly down the slope. Pulled by gravity, large and thick ice sheets would be able to drag along even heavy stones trapped within them. Over time the gradual sliding movement could transport the stones great distances A third explanation is that people move the stones as part of an elaborate joke ln recent years.there have been reports of other unusual phenomena like crop circles. which were at first harcto explain but later turned out to be the work of people playing jokes lt is possible that thesailing stones have been moved around by people rather than by any natural forces

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write

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The reading passage explores the issue of …how/what/whether/why. The professor’s lecture deals with the same issue. However, he/she thinks that …which contradicts what the reading states. And in the lecture, he/she uses three specific points to support his/her idea. First, even though the reading passage suggests that… the professor argues in the lecture that... This is because…, which means… obviously, the professor’s argument disproves its counterpart in the reading. Moreover, despite the statement in the reading that…, the professor contends that… Then he/she supports this point with the fact that... In other words,… Finally, the professor asserts that… where as the author of the reading claims that… The professor proves that this claim is indefensible by pointing out that – ie., …

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1.子项得分任务完成度: 3 组织: 3 连贯与衔接: 3 语言使用: 3

2.预估分数

20. 3.任务完成度

你的文章没有针对阅读和听力材料中提到的具体观点进行详细讨论。为了提高任务完成度，你需要仔细阅读和听取材料，然后针对这些材料中的主要观点进行详细讨论。此外，你需要确保你的文章回答了题目所提出的问题。

改进建议：

阅读和听力材料中的主要观点应该在文章中详细讨论。
确保文章回答了题目所提出的问题。

示例：

"First, even though the reading passage suggests that the stones are pushed by the wind, the professor argues in the lecture that powerful winds do not have enough force to push 300-kilogram stones through the muddy floor."
"Moreover, despite the statement in the reading that ice formations could be responsible for moving the stones, the professor contends that conditions in Racetrack Playa are not favorable for large-scale ice formation."

4.文章结构与组织你的文章结构不够清晰，缺乏明确的段落划分。为了改善文章结构和组织，请确保每个段落都集中讨论一个特定观点，并使用恰当的过渡词或短语连接不同段落。此外，确保你的文章有一个明确的引言、正文和结论。

改进建议：

每个段落都应集中讨论一个特定观点。
使用过渡词或短语连接不同段落。
确保文章有一个明确的引言、正文和结论。

示例：

"In the first place, the professor disputes the reading's claim that powerful winds are responsible for moving the stones. He argues that even strong winds would not have enough force to push such heavy stones through the muddy floor."
"Furthermore, the professor challenges the reading's assertion that ice formations could be responsible for moving the stones. He points out that conditions in Racetrack Playa are not conducive to large-scale ice formation."

5. 语法批改

The reading passage explores the issue of …how/what/whether/why. The professor’s lecture deals with the same issue. However, he/she thinks that …which contradicts what the reading states. And in the lecture, he/she uses three specific points to support his/her idea. First, even though the reading passage suggests that… the professor argues in the lecture that... This is because…, which means… obviously, the professor’s argument disproves its counterpart in the reading. Moreover, despite the statement in the reading that…, the professor contends that… Then he/she supports this point with the fact that... In other words,…, …(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) Finally, the professor asserts that… ~~where as~~whereas(where as/by (whereas/whereby)) the author of the reading claims that… The professor proves that this claim is indefensible by pointing out that – ~~ie.~~i.e.(i.e.), …

Section Title: 6.文章修订

The reading passage explores the phenomenon of sailing stones in Death Valley and offers three possible explanations for their movement. However, the professor in the lecture disagrees with these explanations and provides counterarguments to each theory.

First, the reading passage suggests that powerful winds could be responsible for moving the stones across the muddy floor of Racetrack Playa. The professor, on the other hand, argues that this is unlikely due to the deep grooves left by the stones in the ground. These grooves indicate that a significant amount of resistance is required to move such heavy stones through mud, and it is doubtful that even strong winds could generate enough force for this task.

Moreover, despite the reading's assertion that ice formations might be responsible for moving the stones, the professor contends that conditions in Death Valley are not conducive to large-scale ice formation. He explains that there is only a small volume of groundwater available in this desert area and temperatures do not remain below freezing long enough for ice sheets to grow and thicken sufficiently to trap and carry heavy stones.

Finally, while the reading proposes that people may be moving these stones as part of an elaborate joke, similar to crop circles, the professor refutes this idea by highlighting a lack of evidence supporting human involvement. Researchers have not found any human or pack animal footprints near these stones, and since they sometimes move during muddy periods, it would be nearly impossible for individuals to move them without leaving traces behind. Thus, none of the explanations provided in the reading passage withstands scrutiny when compared with evidence presented by the professor during his lecture. (280 words)

Revised Essay: Article Revision: 7.文章批改

The reading passage explores the ~~issue of …how/what/whether/why. The professor’s~~ phenomenon of sailing stones in Death Valley and offers three possible explanations for their movement. However, the professor in the lecture ~~deals~~ disagrees with ~~the same issue. However, he/she thinks that …which contradicts what the reading states. And in the lecture, he/she uses three specific points to support his/her idea.~~ these explanations and provides counterarguments to each theory. (Changed "issue" to "phenomenon" for more accurate description, and added specifics about the topic.)

First, ~~even though~~ the reading passage suggests ~~that… the professor~~ that powerful winds could be responsible for moving the stones across the muddy floor of Racetrack Playa. The professor, on the other hand, argues ~~in the lecture that... This~~ that this is ~~because…, which means… obviously, the professor’s argument disproves its counterpart in the reading.~~ unlikely due to the deep grooves left by the stones in the ground. These grooves indicate that a significant amount of resistance is required to move such heavy stones through mud, and it is doubtful that even strong winds could generate enough force for this task. (Clarified both positions and added specific details about their arguments.)

Moreover, despite the ~~statement in the reading that…,~~ reading's assertion that ice formations might be responsible for moving the stones, the professor contends ~~that… Then he/she supports~~ that conditions in Death Valley are not conducive to large-scale ice formation. He explains that there is only a small volume of groundwater available in this ~~point with the fact that... In other words,…~~ desert area and temperatures do not remain below freezing long enough for ice sheets to grow and thicken sufficiently to trap and carry heavy stones. (Provided specific reasons why ice formations are unlikely.)

Finally, while the reading proposes that people may be moving these stones as part of an elaborate joke, similar to crop circles, the professor ~~asserts that… where as the author of~~ refutes this idea by highlighting a lack of evidence supporting human involvement. Researchers have not found any human or pack animal footprints near these stones, and since they sometimes move during muddy periods, it would be nearly impossible for individuals to move them without leaving traces behind. Thus, none of the explanations provided in the reading ~~claims that… The~~ passage withstands scrutiny when compared with evidence presented by the professor ~~proves that this claim is indefensible by pointing out that – ie., …~~during his lecture. (Expanded on both positions and provided specific details about the evidence.)

8. Mind Map

Mind Map:

1. Introduction
   - Sailing stones phenomenon
   - Reading passage explanations
   - Professor's counterarguments

2. Powerful winds theory
   - Reading passage: winds move stones
   - Professor: deep grooves, resistance, insufficient force

3. Ice formations theory
   - Reading passage: ice sheets trap and carry stones
   - Professor: lack of groundwater, insufficient freezing time, inadequate ice thickness

4. Human involvement theory
   - Reading passage: elaborate joke, similar to crop circles
   - Professor: no evidence of human footprints or pack animals, difficulty in moving without traces during muddy periods 

5. Conclusion 
   - None of the reading's explanations withstand scrutiny when compared with the professor's evidence.

9. Keywords

Word	Phonetic Symbol	Part of Speech	English Definition	Simplified Chinese Translation (if needed)	Sample Sentence
phenomenon	/fəˈnɒmɪnən/	noun	A fact or situation that is observed to exist or happen, especially one whose cause is in question	现象	The sailing stones are a mysterious phenomenon in Death Valley.
groove	/ɡruːv/	noun	A long, narrow cut or depression in a hard material; a furrow or channel made by cutting or scraping away material from a surface	沟槽，凹槽	The deep grooves left by the stones indicate significant resistance is required to move them.
resistance	/rɪˈzɪstəns/	noun	The refusal to accept or comply with something; the attempt to prevent something by action or argument; the ability not to be affected by something, especially adversely	抵抗，阻力	The resistance created by the mud makes it difficult for winds to move the stones.
conducive	/kənˈdʒuːsɪv/	adjective	Making a certain situation or outcome likely or possible	有助于的，有益的	The conditions in Death Valley are not conducive to large-scale ice formation.
groundwater	/ˈɡraʊndwɔːtər/	noun	Water held underground in the soil or in pores and crevices in rock	地下水	There is only a small volume of groundwater available in Death Valley.
scrutiny	/ˈskruːtɪni/	noun	Critical observation or examination; close, careful, and thorough inspection or analysis of something or someone	仔细审查，详细检查	None of the explanations provided in the reading passage withstands scrutiny when compared with evidence presented by the professor.
elaborate	/ɪˈlæbərət/	adjective	Involving many carefully arranged parts or details; detailed and complicated in design and planning	精心制作的，复杂的	The reading suggests that people may be moving these stones as part of an elaborate joke.
refute	/rɪˈfjuːt/	verb	/Prove (a statement or theory) to be wrong or false; disprove; prove that (someone) is wrong	/反驳，驳斥	/The professor refutes the idea of human involvement by highlighting a lack of evidence supporting it.
trace	/treɪs/	noun	A mark, object, or other indication of the existence or passing of something; a very small quantity, especially one too small to be accurately measured	痕迹，踪迹	It would be nearly impossible for individuals to move the stones without leaving traces behind.
withstand	/wɪðˈstænd/	verb	/Remain undamaged or unaffected by; resist (an attack, an argument, etc.)	/承受，抵挡	/The explanations provided in the reading passage do not withstand the evidence presented by the professor.