TOEFL TPO -1 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: The Writing Section The TOEFL writing section includes an integrated task and an independent task, which work together to test your ability to communicate through writing in an academic environment. Below, you will find one independent writing task to practice. Your professor is teaching a class on political science. Write a post responding to the professor’s question.
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Professor
Today we’re going to talk about the debate between economic growth and protecting the environment. Economic growth creates new jobs and gives people money they can use to improve their lives. On the other hand, if we protect the environment it can be enjoyed both by ourselves and future generations. If you had to choose between prioritizing economic growth or protecting the environment, which one would you choose. Why?
Alex
I would prioritize the environment. We only have one planet and if we don’t take care of it, we won’t have pleasant lives in the future. Economic growth can be important, but not at the expense of the environment. I think we need to shift towards more things such as investing in renewable energy and promoting environmentally-friendly technologies. We’ll all live much healthier lives if the world around us is clean.
Maggie
While I agree with Alex that environmental sustainability is important, I think that economic growth is the only way to solve many of the social and economic problems we face. We need a strong economy to create jobs, reduce poverty, and improve standards of living. Not only that, but when companies grow stronger and more profitable, they can develop new technologies that solve our environmental problems.
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Undoubtedly, while environmental problems are quite crucial now, I stand with Maggie, believing that there are still lots of things that significantly demand urgent solutions. First, as Maggie mentioned, economic problems are also quite crucial nowadays, leading to many secondary problems such as low employment rates, increasing homelessness, economic regression, and so on. Each of these can definitely cause a lot of inequality, significantly reducing the overall well-being. Additionally, education problems are also urged to be solved. As education inequality has existed for quite a long time, it takes away lots of hope for poor students pursuing their dreams, eliminating their possibility of success. To summarize, I am convinced that people's happiness and well-being should always be prioritized, and only illustrate environmental problems cannot let these problems be solved.
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1. 子项得分
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Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5
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Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0
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Language Use and Grammar: 4.0
2. 预估分数
总分:28
3. 任务完成度
虽然你的文章在回答问题方面做得很好,但仍有一些改进的空间。首先,你可以更具体地解释为什么经济增长和教育问题比环境问题更紧迫。此外,尝试在论述中提供更多具体的例子和证据来支持你的观点。
示例1(改进前):Additionally, education problems are also urged to be solved.
示例1(改进后):Additionally, addressing education problems is crucial as it can help reduce the gap between rich and poor students, providing equal opportunities for everyone to succeed in life.
示例2(改进前):To summarize, I am convinced that people's happiness and well-being should always be prioritized, and only illustrate environmental problems cannot let these problems be solved.
示例2(改进后):To summarize, I am convinced that people's happiness and well-being should always be prioritized, and focusing solely on environmental issues will not address the pressing concerns of economic growth and education inequality.
4. 文章结构与组织
从组织结构上看,你的文章整体上是清晰的,但可以通过以下方式进行优化。首先,在引言部分明确提出自己的观点。其次,在正文部分使用主题句来引导每段的主要观点,并在段落中使用恰当的过渡词汇。最后,在结论部分总结你的观点和论据。
示例1(改进前):Undoubtedly, while environmental problems are quite crucial now, I stand with Maggie, believing that there are still lots of things that significantly demand urgent solutions.
示例1(改进后):Undoubtedly, environmental problems are crucial; however, I agree with Maggie that economic growth and education issues demand more urgent attention.
示例2(改进前):First, as Maggie mentioned, economic problems are also quite crucial nowadays, leading to many secondary problems such as low employment rates, increasing homelessness, economic regression, and so on.
示例2(改进后):Firstly, as Maggie mentioned, addressing economic problems is essential as they lead to many secondary issues such as low employment rates and increasing homelessness. By focusing on economic growth, we can alleviate these concerns and improve overall well-being.
5. 语法批改
Undoubtedly, while environmental problems are quite crucial now, I stand with Maggie, believing that there are still lots of things that significantly demand urgent solutions. First, as Maggie mentioned, economic problems are also quite crucial nowadays, leading to many secondary problems such as low employment rates, increasing homelessness, economic regression, and so on. Each of these can definitely cause a lot of inequality, significantly reducing the overall well-being. Additionally, education problems are also urged to be solved. As education inequality has existed for quite a long time, it takes away lots of hope for poor students pursuing their dreams, eliminating their possibility of success. To summarize, I am convinced that people's happiness and well-being should always be prioritized, and only illustrate environmental problems cannot let these problems be solved.
Section Title: Balancing Economic Growth and Environmental Protection
While addressing environmental issues is undoubtedly vital, I concur with Maggie that numerous pressing concerns demand immediate attention. As she astutely points out, economic challenges, such as low employment rates, increasing homelessness, and economic regression, contribute to widespread inequality and diminished overall well-being. Furthermore, educational disparities have persisted for an extended period, depriving underprivileged students of opportunities to pursue their dreams and achieve success. Consequently, it is essential to prioritize people's happiness and well-being while simultaneously striving for environmental sustainability. A balanced approach that encompasses both economic growth and environmental protection will ultimately lead to a more prosperous and harmonious society. (109 words)
Undoubtedly, while environmental problems are quite crucial (vital) now, I stand with Maggie, believing that there are still lots of things (numerous pressing concerns) that significantly demand urgent solutions. solutions (demand immediate attention). First, as Maggie mentioned, economic problems are also quite crucial (challenges) nowadays, leading to many secondary problems such as low employment rates, increasing homelessness, economic regression, and so on. Each of these can definitely cause a lot of inequality, significantly reducing the overall well-being. Additionally, education problems (educational disparities) are also urged to be solved. As education inequality (educational disparities) has existed for quite a long time, time (persisted for an extended period), it takes away lots of hope for poor students pursuing their dreams, eliminating their possibility of success. To summarize, summarize (Consequently), I am convinced that people's happiness and well-being should always be prioritized, and only illustrate environmental problems cannot let these problems be solved.solved (it is essential to prioritize people's happiness and well-being while simultaneously striving for environmental sustainability).
8 思维导图
- Balancing Economic Growth and Environmental Protection
- Addressing environmental issues
- Vital importance
- Economic challenges
- Low employment rates
- Increasing homelessness
- Economic regression
- Widespread inequality and diminished well-being
- Educational disparities
- Depriving underprivileged students of opportunities
- Prioritize people's happiness and well-being
- Striving for environmental sustainability
- Balanced approach
- Economic growth and environmental protection
9 关键词
| Word | Phonetic Symbol | Part of Speech | English definition | Simplified Chinese translation | Sample sentences |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Undoubtedly | /ʌnˈdaʊtɪdli/ | Adverb | Without doubt; certainly | 无疑地 | Undoubtedly, addressing environmental issues is vital. |
| Astutely | /əˈstjutli/ | Adverb | In a clever or shrewd manner | 精明地 | As she astutely points out, economic challenges contribute to widespread inequality. |
| Regression | /rɪˈɡrɛʃən/ | Noun | A return to a former or less developed state | 倒退 | Economic regression contributes to widespread inequality. |
| Disparities | /dɪˈsparɪtiz/ | Noun | _A great difference | _差距 | _Educational disparities have persisted for an extended period. |
| Underprivileged | _ /ˌʌndərˈprɪvəlɪdʒd/ | _Adjective | _Not enjoying the same standard of living or rights as the majority of people in a society | _贫困的 | _Depriving underprivileged students of opportunities to pursue their dreams. |
| Prioritize | /praɪˈɔrəˌtaɪz/ | Verb | To designate or treat (something) as more important than other things | 优先考虑 | It is essential to prioritize people's happiness and well-being. |
| Sustainability | /səˌsteɪnəˈbɪləti/ | Noun | The ability to be maintained at a certain rate or level | 可持续性 | Striving for environmental sustainability is crucial. |
| Harmonious | _ /hɑrˈmoʊniəs/ | _Adjective | _Free from disagreement or dissent; characterized by agreement | _和谐的 | _A balanced approach will lead to a more harmonious society. |
| Prosperous | _ /ˈprɒspərəs/ | _Adjective | _Successful in material terms; flourishing financially | _繁荣的 | _A balanced approach will ultimately lead to a more prosperous society. |
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