TOEFL TPO -1 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Your professor is teaching a class on marketing. Wite a post responding to the professor's question.
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Professor Achebe
Let's continue talking about consumer behavior. We have been discussing different ways people go about choosing what products to buy, and there are many potential sources of information and advice for consumers. In your opinion, which is the better strategy for making purchasing decisions, relying on advice from friends and family, or depending on information from online sources? Why?
Student Claire
Asking friends and family members for product recommendations might seem like an easier option, but it might take too much time to get all the information you need. An internet search would be much more efficient. There are many consumer magazines available online that compile lots of data to compare the advantages and disadvantages of one product versus another.
Student Paul
The last time I bought a computer, I just watched a few videos online to make a decision, and now I regret that. My friends could have advised me better because they know my preferences and the kind of features that I am interested in. Consumers should get advice from the people around them to find the most suitable products.
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In response to the professor’s question, I concur with Claire’s opinion. The first reason for my stance is the effectiveness. My friends and family members have better knowledge of my preferences than other foreigners, therefore, their advise tend to be more practical and comprehensive. As such, it’s common for me to ask for suggestions from my mother when buying clothes because she is more experienced and know exactly how tall I am. By contrast, people from the Internet don’t know about me and in this way don’t understand what kind of clothes suit me well. In addition, there are too many confusing advertisements on the Internet. I sometimes fall in love with a fancy dress on the Internet but turn out to find it pretty ugly in real life. It’s because large amounts of the information on the Internet are quite misleading that I find it wiser to ask my family and friends for good ideas. All in all, in order to find the most suitable products, I strongly recommend people to talk with their friends and family members and then get golden ideas.
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1. 子项得分
Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5 Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0 Language Use and Grammar: 4.0
2. 预估分数
26. 3 任务完成度
总体来说,这篇文章回答了教授的问题,并提供了合理的观点。然而,为了更好地完成任务,可以在以下方面进行改进:首先,在论述观点时,可以尝试引入更多具体的例子和细节,以增强论据的说服力。其次,在讨论互联网信息的不足时,可以提供一些具体案例来说明问题。
Example 1: When discussing the effectiveness of advice from friends and family, you could provide a specific example of a time when their advice led to a successful purchase. Example 2: When mentioning misleading information on the internet, you could give an example of a specific website or product review that was not accurate or helpful.
4. 文章结构与组织
这篇文章的结构和组织基本上是清晰的,包括引言、正文和结论。然而,在以下方面仍有改进空间:首先,在正文部分,可以尝试使用更明确的段落主题句来引导读者理解每个段落的主要观点。其次,在段落之间加入过渡词或短语以使文章更连贯。
Example 1: To improve the topic sentence in the first body paragraph, you could write: "One major advantage of seeking advice from friends and family is their deep understanding of our personal preferences." Example 2: To add a transition between the discussion of internet information and the conclusion, you could use a phrase like "Taking all these factors into consideration," before presenting your final recommendation.
5. 语法批改
In response to the professor’s question, I concur with Claire’s opinion. The first reason for my stance is the effectiveness. My friends and family members have better knowledge of my preferences than other foreigners, therefore, their adviseadvice(Detects potentially wrong usage of "advise") tend to be more practical and comprehensive. As such, it’s common for me to ask for suggestions from my mother when buying clothes because she is more experienced and know exactly how tall I am. By contrast, people from the Internet don’t know about me and in this way don’t understand what kind of clothes suit me well. In addition, there are too many confusing advertisements on the Internet. I sometimes fall in love with a fancy dress on the Internet but turn out to find it pretty ugly in real life. It’s because large amounts of the information on the Internet are quite misleading that I find it wiser to ask my family and friends for good ideas. All in all, in order to find the most suitable products, I strongly recommend people to talk with their friends and family members and then get golden ideas.
Section Title: 6 Article Revision
In addressing the professor's inquiry, I align with Claire's perspective. The primary rationale for my position is the efficacy of personal recommendations. Friends and family possess a deeper understanding of my preferences, making their advice more practical and comprehensive. For instance, I often seek my mother's guidance when purchasing clothing, as she has greater experience and knows my measurements. Conversely, strangers on the internet lack insight into my personal style and what suits me best.
Moreover, the internet is rife with misleading advertisements that can lead to poor purchasing decisions. I have occasionally been captivated by an appealing dress online, only to discover its unattractiveness in person. Due to the abundance of deceptive information online, I find it prudent to consult family and friends for reliable suggestions. Ultimately, to identify the most appropriate products, I strongly advocate engaging in conversations with one's social circle to garner valuable insights. (153 words)
In response to the professor’s question, I concur addressing the professor's inquiry (rephrased for a more natural tone), I align with Claire’s opinion. Claire's perspective. The first reason primary rationale (more formal and precise) for my stance position is the effectiveness. My friends efficacy of personal recommendations. Friends and family members possess a deeper understanding of my preferences, making their advice more practical and comprehensive (clearer expression). For instance, I often seek my mother's guidance when purchasing clothing, as she has greater experience and knows my measurements (more specific detail). Conversely, strangers on the internet lack insight into my personal style and what suits me best (simpler phrasing).
Moreover, the internet is rife with misleading advertisements that can lead to poor purchasing decisions (more concise). I have better knowledge occasionally been captivated by an appealing dress online, only to discover its unattractiveness in person (more vivid description). Due to the abundance of my preferences than other foreigners, therefore, their advise tend to be more practical and comprehensive. As such, it’s common for me to ask for suggestions from my mother when buying clothes because she is more experienced and know exactly how tall I am. By contrast, people from the Internet don’t know about me and in this way don’t understand what kind of clothes suit me well. In addition, there are too many confusing advertisements on the Internet. I sometimes fall in love with a fancy dress on the Internet but turn out to deceptive information online, I find it pretty ugly in real life. It’s because large amounts of the information on the Internet are quite misleading that I find it wiser to ask my prudent to consult family and friends for good ideas. All reliable suggestions (stronger word choice). Ultimately, to identify the most appropriate products, I strongly advocate engaging in all, in order to find the most suitable products, I strongly recommend people to talk conversations with their friends and family members and then get golden ideas.one's social circle to garner valuable insights (more formal conclusion).
Display title: 8 思维导图
1. Introduction
- Align with Claire's perspective
- Importance of personal recommendations
2. Personal Recommendations
a. Friends and family understand preferences
- Practical and comprehensive advice
b. Example: Mother's guidance on clothing
- Experience and knowledge of measurements
3. Internet Disadvantages
a. Misleading advertisements
- Poor purchasing decisions
b. Example: Unattractive dress online vs in person
4. Importance of Conversations with Social Circle
a. Reliable suggestions from family and friends
b. Garner valuable insights for appropriate products
5. Conclusion
- Strongly advocate personal recommendations over internet advice
Display title: 9 关键词
| Word | Phonetic Symbol | Part of Speech | English Definition | Simplified Chinese Translation | Sample Sentence |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| efficacy | /ˈɛfɪkəsi/ | noun | the ability to produce a desired or intended result | 效力 | Personal recommendations have greater efficacy than online reviews. |
| comprehensive | /ˌkɒmprɪˈhɛnsɪv/ | adjective | complete; including all or nearly all elements or aspects of something | 全面的 | Their advice is more practical and comprehensive than online suggestions. |
| deceptive | /dɪˈsɛptɪv/ | adjective | giving an appearance or impression different from the true one; misleading | 欺骗性的 | The internet has an abundance of deceptive information about products. |
| prudent | /ˈpruːdnt/ | adjective | acting with or showing care and thought for the future | 谨慎的 | It is prudent to consult family and friends for reliable suggestions. |
| advocate | /ˈædvəkeɪt/ | verb | publicly recommend or support | 提倡 | I strongly advocate engaging in conversations with one's social circle. |
| preferences | /prɪˈfɛrəns/ | noun | a greater liking for one alternative over another or others | 偏好 | Friends and family possess a deeper understanding of my preferences. |
| insight | /ˈɪnsʌɪt/ | noun | the capacity to gain an accurate and deep understanding of someone or something | 洞察力 | Conversations with my social circle provide valuable insights into suitable products. |
| unattractiveness | /ʌnəˈtræktɪvnəs/ | noun | the quality of lacking beauty or appeal; not attractive | 不吸引人的特质 | I discovered the dress's unattractiveness only after seeing it in person. |
| captivated | /ˈkæptɪveɪtɪd/ | verb (past) | attract and hold the interest and attention of; charm | 迷住,吸引 | I was captivated by the appealing dress online. |
Section Title: 6 Article Revision
In addressing the professor's inquiry, I align with Claire's perspective. The primary rationale for my position is the efficacy of personal recommendations. Friends and family possess a deeper understanding of my preferences, making their advice more practical and comprehensive. For instance, I often seek my mother's guidance when purchasing clothing, as she has greater experience and knows my measurements. Conversely, strangers on the internet lack insight into my personal style and what suits me best.
Moreover, the internet is rife with misleading advertisements that can lead to poor purchasing decisions. I have occasionally been captivated by an appealing dress online, only to discover its unattractiveness in person. Due to the abundance of deceptive information online, I find it prudent to consult family and friends for reliable suggestions. Ultimately, to identify the most appropriate products, I strongly advocate engaging in conversations with one's social circle to garner valuable insights.
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