TOEFL TPO -1 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: This week, I want you to discuss assessment criteria. Some schoolteachers give high grades (marks) only to those students who perform well on their homework assignments and tests. Other teachers, however, may give high grades to students who have worked very hard on their assignments but have not performed so well. Which approach do you think is better: Giving grades based only on performance, or grading students not just on performance but also on their effort?

1. Sub Scores

• Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5

• Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0

• Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2. Estimated Scores

Estimated Score: 28

3. Task completeness

The essay addresses the task requirements by discussing the two approaches to grading students. However, it could be improved by providing more specific examples or evidence to support the chosen viewpoint. Additionally, the essay could benefit from a clearer focus on either primary/secondary education or university education, rather than trying to cover both.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Provide specific examples of how grading based on performance or effort would impact students in primary/secondary education or university.

• Focus on one level of education (primary/secondary or university) for a more in-depth discussion.

Examples:

1. In primary education, grading based on performance encourages students to master essential knowledge, such as multiplication tables or grammar rules, which will serve as a foundation for their future learning.
2. In university settings, considering effort in grading can encourage collaboration and teamwork among students when working on group projects, which are valuable skills for their future careers.

4. Essay structure and organization

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing different levels of education, and a conclusion. However, it could be improved by having clearer transitions between ideas and paragraphs.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Use clear transition words or phrases to guide the reader through your argument.

• Make sure each paragraph focuses on one main idea with supporting details.

Examples:

1. Transition phrase: "On the other hand, when it comes to universities..."
2. Focused paragraph: "In primary education settings, grading based solely on performance is beneficial because it sets a standard baseline for teachers to assess whether students have mastered essential knowledge. This approach also encourages students to take exams more seriously."

5. 语法批改

In my opinion, the way of giving grades needs to be based on the student's age. To be more specific, schoolteachers at different levels of education school have to choose the different grading methods. On the one hand, in a primary or second school, teachers should grade students based only on their performance, say, their homework and exam outcomes, because the purpose of primary education is teaching based subject knowledge and cultivating their abilities to self-learning. So, grading them on their performance, like setting a standard baseline, not only makes it convenient for teachers to assess whether students master essential knowledge but also stimulates students to take exams more seriously. On the other hand, when it comes to universities, we should grade them with a comprehensive perspective because the aim of adult education requires them to exert the theories in the real world and also develop people skills. In this case, students have to work and study as a group to finish their assignments. Granted, it will be fairer for the teacher to evaluate their effort during the process, giving them extra scores.

Display title: 6 Revised Essay

In my opinion, the approach to assigning grades should be contingent upon the students' age and educational level. Specifically, educators at different stages of schooling ought to employ distinct grading methods. For instance, in primary and secondary schools, teachers should assess students based solely on their performance in homework and exams. This is because the objective of early education is to impart foundational knowledge and foster self-learning abilities. Consequently, evaluating students based on their performance establishes a standard baseline that not only enables teachers to gauge whether students have mastered essential concepts but also encourages pupils to take examinations more earnestly. Conversely, in higher education institutions such as universities, a more comprehensive assessment approach is warranted due to the emphasis on applying theoretical knowledge in real-world situations and developing interpersonal skills. In this context, students often collaborate in groups to complete assignments; therefore, it would be equitable for instructors to consider their effort during the process and award additional points accordingly. (166 words)

In my opinion, the way approach to assigning grades should be contingent upon the students' age and educational level (revised for clarity and conciseness). Specifically, educators at different stages of giving grades needs to be schooling ought to employ distinct grading methods (rephrased for better flow). For instance, in primary and secondary schools, teachers should assess students based solely on their performance in homework and exams (simplified language for clarity). This is because the objective of early education is to impart foundational knowledge and foster self-learning abilities (revised for better word choice). Consequently, evaluating students based on the student's age. To be more specific, schoolteachers at different levels of education school have to choose the different grading methods. On the one hand, in a primary or second school, teachers should grade students based only on their performance, say, their homework and exam outcomes, because the purpose of primary education is teaching based subject knowledge and cultivating their abilities to self-learning. So, grading them on their performance, like setting performance establishes a standard baseline, baseline that not only makes it convenient for enables teachers to assess gauge whether students master have mastered essential knowledge concepts but also stimulates students encourages pupils to take exams examinations more seriously. On the other hand, when it comes to earnestly (restructured sentence for improved readability). Conversely, in higher education institutions such as universities, we should grade them with a more comprehensive perspective because the aim of adult education requires them to exert the theories in the real world and also develop people skills. assessment approach is warranted due to the emphasis on applying theoretical knowledge in real-world situations and developing interpersonal skills (revised for clarity and coherence). In this case, students have to work and study as a group to finish their assignments. Granted, context, students often collaborate in groups to complete assignments; therefore, it will would be fairer for the teacher to evaluate equitable for instructors to consider their effort during the process, giving them extra scores.process and award additional points accordingly (edited for better flow and conciseness).

8 Mind Map

1. Introduction

   • Approach to assigning grades
   • Students' age and educational level

2. Primary and Secondary Schools

   • Performance-based assessment
   • Homework and exams
   • Objectives: foundational knowledge, self-learning abilities

3. Higher Education Institutions

   • Comprehensive assessment approach
   • Real-world application, interpersonal skills development

4. Group Assignments

   • Collaboration in higher education
   • Equitable grading based on effort and contribution

9 Key Words