TOEFL TPO 24 Writing Task 1 Sample: Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they cast doubt on specific points made in the reading passage.

1.子项得分

• 任务完成度：3

• 文章结构与组织：3

• 连贯性与衔接：3

• 语言运用：3

2.预估分数

• 20

3.任务完成度 你的文章基本上涵盖了阅读和听力材料中的观点，但是在解释这些观点时，需要更加详细和准确。为了提高任务完成度，你可以：

1. 更详细地解释听力材料中的论点，以便更好地说明它们是如何对阅读材料产生质疑的。

2. 在描述阅读和听力材料中的论点时，尽量使用准确的词汇和表达。

示例1： 原文：“Secondly, the author of reading material points out that the presence of spheres are ruminants of red blood cells, which refuted by the professor that the spheres also found in other animals which without the blood vessels.” 改进：“Secondly, the reading passage claims that the presence of iron-filled spheres could be remnants of red blood cells; however, the professor refutes this by stating that similar spheres were found in fossils of other animals that did not have red blood cells when they were alive.”

示例2： 原文：“Finally, opposing to the idea of reading material that scientists found collagen in the dinosaur leg bone through experimental test, the professor contends that this element can’t remain long time which contrary to the fact that the fossil has existed for 70milion years.” 改进：“Finally, although the reading passage states that scientists found collagen in the dinosaur leg bone through experimental tests, the professor argues that collagen cannot last for such a long time, as it has never been found in animal remains older than one hundred thousand years. He suggests that the collagen might have come from a more recent source, such as the skin of the researchers handling the bone.”

4.文章结构与组织 你的文章结构基本上是清晰的，但是可以在以下方面进行改进：

1. 在引言部分更明确地介绍文章的主题和目的。

2. 在每个段落中使用更清晰的主题句来引导读者了解该段落的重点。

示例1： 原文：“The professor in the lecture casts doubt on reading material’s belief that there’s many evidence to prove the presence of blood vessels remain in the rex’s leg bone.” 改进：“The professor in the lecture casts doubt on several points made in the reading passage regarding the discovery of potential dinosaur tissue remains in a T. rex's leg bone.”

示例2： 原文：“First and foremost, contract to the belief in the reading material that…” 改进：“Firstly, contrary to the reading passage's claim that branching channels and a soft, flexible organic substance inside T. rex's leg bone indicate actual blood vessels…”

5. 语法批改

The professor in the lecture casts doubt on reading material’s belief that there’s many evidencemuch evidence(Possible agreement error: 'many/several/few' + uncountable noun) to prove the presence of blood vessels remain in the rexRex(misspelling)’s leg bone. The professor asserts the argument and evidence of the reading material is not convincing.

First and foremost, contract to the belief in the reading material that the presence of branching channels inside the bone and a soft, flexible organic substance indicate the blood vessels is probably actual, the professor asserts that the soft, flexible organic substance inside the channels isn’t necessary for vessels. He mentions that these hollows may causedbe caused(it would (be) appreciated) by bacteria, the bacterial colonize the tissue and leave organic material to these hollows.

Secondly, the author of reading material points out that the presence of spheres are ruminants of red blood cells, which refuted by the professor that the spheres also found in other animals which without the blood vessels.

Finally, opposing to the idea of reading material that scientists found collagen in the dinosaur leg bone through experimental test, the professor contends that this element can’t remain long time which contrary to the fact that the fossil has existed for 70milion years. Collagen on the leg bone may from the researchers who handed the fossil.

Section Title: 6.文章修订

The professor in the lecture casts doubt on the reading material's assertion that there is substantial evidence to prove the presence of blood vessel remains in the T. rex's leg bone. The professor argues that the evidence presented in the reading material is not convincing.

First and foremost, contrary to the belief in the reading material that the presence of branching channels inside the bone and a soft, flexible organic substance indicate that blood vessels are probably present, the professor asserts that this soft, flexible organic substance inside the channels isn't necessarily from blood vessels. He mentions that these hollows may have been caused by bacteria, which colonize tissues and leave organic material in these hollows.

Secondly, the author of the reading material points out that the presence of spheres are remnants of red blood cells. However, this claim is refuted by the professor who states that these spheres have also been found in other animals without blood vessels.

Finally, opposing to the idea presented in the reading material that scientists found collagen in the dinosaur leg bone through experimental tests, the professor contends that this element cannot remain for such a long time, which contradicts with fact that fossil has existed for 70 million years. The collagen on leg bone may have come from researchers who handled fossil. (222 words)

The professor in the lecture casts doubt on reading material’s belief that there’s the reading material's assertion that there is substantial evidence to prove the presence of blood vessel remains in the T. rex's leg bone (Changed "there's many evidence" to "there is substantial evidence" for better grammar and clarity). The professor argues that the evidence to prove the presence of blood vessels remain in the rex’s leg bone. The professor asserts the argument and evidence of presented in the reading material is not convincing.

First and foremost, contract contrary (Changed "contract" to "contrary" for correct word usage) to the belief in the reading material that the presence of branching channels inside the bone and a soft, flexible organic substance indicate the that blood vessels is are probably actual, present, the professor asserts that the this soft, flexible organic substance inside the channels isn’t isn't necessarily from blood vessels (Changed "isn't necessary for vessels. vessels" to "isn't necessarily from blood vessels" for better clarity). He mentions that these hollows may have been caused by bacteria, the bacterial bacteria (Changed "may caused by bacteria" to "may have been caused by bacteria" for correct grammar), which colonize the tissue tissues and leave organic material to in these hollows.

Secondly, the author of the reading material points out that the presence of spheres are ruminants remnants of red blood cells, which cells (Changed "ruminants" to "remnants" for correct word usage). However, this claim is refuted by the professor that the who states that these spheres have also been found in other animals which without the blood vessels. blood vessels (Changed "which without blood vessels" to "without blood vessels" for better grammar).

Finally, opposing to (Changed "opposing to" to "contradicting") the idea of presented in the reading material that scientists found collagen in the dinosaur leg bone through experimental test, tests, the professor contends that this element can’t cannot remain for such a long time (Added ", which contrary to the contradicts with fact that the fossil has existed for 70milion 70 million years." after ", which contradicts with fact that fossil has existed for 70 million years." for better clarity), which contradicts with fact that fossil has existed for 70 million years. Collagen The collagen on the leg bone may have come from the researchers who handed the fossil.handled fossil (Changed "handed" to "handled" for correct word usage).

8. Mind Map

1. Introduction
   - Essay structure
   - Lecture points

2. Branching Channels and Organic Substance
   - Reading material: Evidence of blood vessels
   - Lecture: Bacteria colonization

3. Spheres as Red Blood Cell Remnants
   - Reading material: Evidence of red blood cells
   - Lecture: Found in other animals without blood vessels

4. Collagen Presence in Dinosaur Leg Bone
   - Reading material: Experimental tests found collagen
   - Lecture: Collagen cannot remain for 70 million years, possible contamination

5. Conclusion
   - Summarize lecture's counterarguments to reading material's claims

9. Keywords