TOEFL TPO -1 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: This style of question will be used on the redesigned TOEFL iBT starting July 26. Get more samples here. You can also check out my detailed guide to this task. The test-taker must read the question posted by the professor and the two student responses. Finally, they should write their own response which addresses the question and adds to the conversation. They have ten minutes to complete the task. — Your professor is teaching a class on marketing. Write a post responding to the professor’s question.

1. 子项得分

• Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5

• Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0

• Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2. 预估分数

• 27

3. 任务完成度

这篇文章在完成任务方面做得很好，但仍有一些可以改进的地方。首先，在表达观点时，可以提供更多具体的例子来支持你的看法。其次，尽管你提到了Emily的观点，但在回应她的观点时可以更具说服力。

示例1： 原文：For instance, people are likely to purchase some unnecessary goods when they encounter holiday discount as they are strongly affected by the crazy atmosphere, and it’s nearly unrealistic for them to make wise decision at that time. 改进：For instance, during holiday sales, people may be more likely to purchase unnecessary items due to the influence of social media influencers promoting these products, making it difficult for them to make rational decisions.

示例2： 原文：Emily raises the relevant point that the impact is tiny since most individuals are wise enough to make suitable choices, but she doesn’t mention that it’s hard for people to keep rational all the time. 改进：While Emily argues that most individuals can make suitable choices on their own, she overlooks the fact that social media influencers can create a sense of urgency or desire for a product, which may lead consumers to make impulsive purchases.

4. 文章结构与组织

文章结构和组织方面基本上做得不错，但仍有一些地方可以改进。首先，在引入自己的观点时，可以更明确地表达你同意或反驳了哪位同学的观点。其次，可以在文章中使用更多的过渡词和短语来使文章更连贯。

示例1： 原文：I am of the opinion that social media influencers have a huge impact on consumer behavior. 改进：In my opinion, social media influencers have a significant impact on consumer behavior, and I find myself agreeing with Jack's viewpoint.

示例2： 原文：Furthermore, I would add that young people are constantly exposed to advertisements which are recommended by social media influencers in subways, elevators, and shopping centers... 改进：Additionally, it is important to consider that young people are constantly exposed to advertisements endorsed by social media influencers in various public spaces such as subways, elevators, and shopping centers...

5. 语法批改

I am of the opinion that social media influencers have a huge impact on consumer behavior. I strongly agree with Jack’s opinion that the youth admire these influencers, hence they prefer to buy these services endorsing by influencers. Furthermore, I would add that young people are constantly exposed to advertisements which are recommended by social media influencers in subways, elevators, and shopping centers, making them susceptible to their influence even if they are not aware of it. Emily raises the relevant point that the impact is tiny since most individuals are wise enough to make suitable choices, but she doesn’t mention that it’s hard for people to keep rational all the time. For instance, people are likely to purchase some unnecessary goods when they encounter holiday discount as they are strongly affected by the crazy atmosphere, and it’s nearly unrealistic for them to make wise decision at that time.

Title: 6 文章修订

In my view, social media influencers wield a considerable influence on consumer behavior. I concur with Jack's assertion that young people tend to admire these influencers and are more inclined to purchase products or services they endorse. Additionally, I would emphasize that the youth are persistently exposed to advertisements featuring social media influencers in various settings such as subways, elevators, and shopping centers, rendering them vulnerable to their impact even unconsciously. While Emily presents a valid argument regarding the limited influence due to individuals' ability to make informed decisions based on their needs and preferences, she fails to acknowledge that maintaining rationality can be challenging at times. For example, during holiday sales events, people may impulsively buy unnecessary items influenced by the frenzy surrounding them, making it difficult for them to exercise sound judgment in such situations. (140 words)

I am of the opinion that In my view [revised for a more natural tone], social media influencers have wield a huge impact considerable influence [revised for clarity and conciseness] on consumer behavior. I strongly agree concur with Jack’s opinion Jack's assertion [revised for a more natural tone] that young people tend to admire these influencers and are more inclined to purchase products or services they endorse. Additionally, I would emphasize that the youth admire these influencers, hence they prefer to buy these services endorsing by influencers. Furthermore, I would add that young people are constantly persistently exposed to advertisements which are recommended by featuring social media influencers in various settings such as subways, elevators, and shopping centers, making rendering them susceptible vulnerable to their impact even unconsciously [revised for clarity and flow]. While Emily presents a valid argument regarding the limited influence even if they are not aware of it. Emily raises the relevant point that the impact is tiny since most individuals are wise enough due to individuals' ability to make suitable choices, but informed decisions based on their needs and preferences, she doesn’t mention fails to acknowledge that it’s hard maintaining rationality can be challenging at times [revised for clarity]. For example, during holiday sales events, people to keep rational all the time. For instance, people are likely to purchase some may impulsively buy unnecessary goods when they encounter holiday discount as they are strongly affected items influenced by the crazy atmosphere, and it’s nearly unrealistic frenzy surrounding them, making it difficult for them to make wise decision at that time.exercise sound judgment in such situations [revised for clarity and flow].

Title: 8 思维导图

- Social media influencers
    - Influence on consumer behavior
        - Young people admiration
            - Inclination to purchase endorsed products/services
        - Persistent exposure to advertisements
            - Various settings (subways, elevators, shopping centers)
            - Unconscious vulnerability to impact
    - Counterargument: Limited influence due to informed decisions
        - Needs and preferences-based decision-making
        - Challenge of maintaining rationality in certain situations
            - Example: Holiday sales events and impulsive buying

Title: 9 关键词